European Commission has just
announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of
the
European Union rather than German, which was
the other
possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a
5- year phase-in
plan that would become known as
"Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the
soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with
joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear
up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will
be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph"
will
be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20%
shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil
agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful
and it
should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such
as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze
unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz
yer, ve
vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or
difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a
united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be
speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil,
pleas pas on to oza pepl.
announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of
the
European Union rather than German, which was
the other
possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a
5- year phase-in
plan that would become known as
"Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the
soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with
joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear
up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will
be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph"
will
be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20%
shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil
agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful
and it
should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such
as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze
unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz
yer, ve
vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or
difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a
united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be
speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil,
pleas pas on to oza pepl.
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