[INDENT]
[INDENT]Hi ya [/INDENT]
[INDENT]how r u ppl[/INDENT]
[INDENT]am posting this story and am soo nervous!!!![/INDENT]
[INDENT]it is one of my school essaies acctually it's the first one[/INDENT]
[INDENT]it's abit long but hope u enjoy reading it...... ohhh man muh hands are shacking[/INDENT]
[INDENT]oh yeah i knw that their are sum spelling mistakes and i got a problem using the tense but never mind!!!![/INDENT]
[INDENT][B]In a quite cold night, the wind howled like a wild wolf. It was a nice evening but I felt something weird. I ignored all of these feelings and I enjoyed my time by singing a lovely old song which I’ve learned from my grandmother. Suddenly I heard a weird noise which made me feels a bit scared but the noises stopped and the silence covered the place again. The moon shine was strong that night which made it looks like it’s a daytime. The coldness that night was unusual, I felt like I was a frozen piece of meet. The weather was so bad, even though the moon shine was so strong; the fog was covering the place. After time I heard a loud scream and the carriage started rolling over a large downhill. I closed my eyes, and I started screaming as well. Suddenly the carriage stopped, I opened my eyes and I found out that we fall on a river, and I was about to drawn, I started swimming, calling the driver of the carriage, and turned right and left to find someone to help me, but there was no answer. So I decided to continue swimming to get to where I want to go. In my way to the river bank, I saw driver body hanged to a tree trunk and his face was stained with blood, it seems like a strong tree branch hit his head and it kills him or maybe someone does that to him. The horse noise got me back to the real world when I saw him at the river bank. I decided to ride the horse even though I didn’t know where to go but it is better than staying with a dead body. As I said at the beginning the fog was covering the place I couldn’t see nothing it was so dark, I was alone and it was freezing. It was midnight and it was so quite. Suddenly I heard a nice song; I decided to follow the voice. Finally I saw a big castle which was surrounded with a small river I was thirsty I wanted to drink from the river but the water was dark. I remembered the roamers about the dark water lake and that the person who drinks from it will die because the water is poisoned. I left that river and I went toward the castle while the song already stopped, at last I am on the front of huge black door with two lions sculpture. [/B][/INDENT]
[INDENT]The door was too old but it was strong as a steel door. I was looking for the handle I hardly could find it because of the darkness. I knocked the door for several times but there was no answer I felt disappointed. I was about to leave the castle but I heard a noise. It was a footstep, my feelings were combined of joy because I am going to meet a human being, and worry of the way they are going to treat me, my heart beating went faster and faster as the footsteps comes closer. The door is opened and very bright lights came through the door as it opened. I saw an old woman she looks strange and the grey hair was covering her head. Her eyes were big blue eyes as a cat eyes. She was short and wearing a long black dress. Behind this old woman there was a huge old chandelier. I also saw a large stairs covered with a nice velvety red carpet. The woman welcomed me and she asked me to follow her through the hall.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]The hall walls were covered with nice silver silky clothes. The walls were so high, and there was lots of animals heads stick on the walls. The old woman led me into a large room. “What is your name” I said.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]“Hanissa” she replied.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]“My name is Mimi” I said.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]“Mmm!!” she said.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]The room was so big but it was cold, there were only two candles in the room. The dust covered all of the furniture. There was a secret door in the floor of the room. [/INDENT]
[INDENT]There was a large cupboard the cupboard handle was made of gold. The room smells like a cemetery, the old woman left me alone in the room.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]I lay on the big coloured bed, and started falling asleep till I heard a loud strange noise, I panicked, and felt cold because the window was opened. The thunder was rumbling outside and the rain dampened the curtain. I saw a little bird flying away from the castle and there was an eagle flying after him. The little bird couldn’t run a way from the wild eagle the eagle tear each part of the bird and eat it. After a while I heard a footsteps coming toward the room. The footstep sounds like a monster footstep. There was no one with me in the room. I imagine my self in the place of that poor bird. I was about to scream but I couldn’t because I knew if I scream the monster well knew my place and he will hurt me. I started thinking and I decided to fight for my life and not to surrender. [/INDENT]
[INDENT]The footstep went slower and closer to the door of the room. I remembered that I have seen a ground door, I decided to hide their, but I hardly could open the door, the place was so dark. I took one of the candles which were in the room, my whole body and my hands were trembling. The candle falls down from my hand, when I was closing the door. The place was too dark down there; the sound of the footsteps was clearer, I could hear the wooden floor was creaking over my head. I smelled a strange smell which I have never ever smelled in my life. It was a smell which I couldn’t recognize, but I recognized it after felt the dripping of water coming from up stairs. It was the smell of the water or the rain which drips on the dust and turns it to mud. It was a nice smell but suddenly it turned to a dead bodies smell.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]The place was so gloomy and drenched it was so dirty and the spider webs were all over the place. Suddenly a light shine came through the heavy door, which broke the darkness. I felt like I am back to life after long time of death or sleeping. My feelings were a blend of happiness to be free again on one hand, and frightened till dead from the unknown destination on the other hand. I ignored all of those thoughts and I decided to face my destiny. From the light I saw a hand rose to me, and heard a warm voice asking me not to be scared. Even though this hand was wet I raised my hand. That footsteps wasn’t a monster footsteps it was a gentleman or a General footsteps. That strange person was wet I realised that the water drops were from him, then I felt a bit comfortable when I saw him, he seemed really nice and kind. [/INDENT]
[INDENT]“Would you like to follow me please” he said.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]“How can I trust” I said.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]“Trust me please and you will not regret” he replied.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]“Let’s go” I said.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]I followed him through the long hall, the castle was empty and there was no one there except me and him. The old woman disappeared as if she was not in the castle from the very beginning. I was worried because I didn’t know where I am going to.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]As I was walking through the passage, I remembered that every thing in the castle has been changed. Some of the furniture was clean but now it’s stained with blood, there weren’t many pictures on the walls, but the walls are full of pictures. I felt like that, those pictures were staring at me everywhere I go, like they have secret eyes for spying. There were lots of doors; I heard different sounds coming from those doors. The castle was full of mirrors. Each time I passed beside one of the mirrors, I saw different people, for example one time I saw a young boy raising his hand to me and asking for help. I asked that person about those people he said: you girl has wide imagination. I heard a loud laugh, which made my heart beating faster as we get closer towards the place of the laugh. I felt like that big castle is as small as a grave. That man was so quite that he didn’t say a single word. He was walking with lots of confidence towards a huge door. The laughter stopped as we stopped in by the door. [/INDENT]
[INDENT]The man asked me to knock the door and not to be afraid of my destiny, he left me and he continued walking along the passage. The place was so scary I started seeing people and I started hallucinating again. My body was sweating, my legs were vibrating. After a while I saw my hand knocking the door without feeling. I stunned at my place when I saw the person who opened the door. His body was covered with hair, he looked like a ghost or a dead body just came back from the other world. I couldn’t say anything I just stand on my place with my mouth opened. That ghost got a silver eye colour, and they were sparkling. He got big ears and his nails were so dirty. He smells like a dead body in a very high temperature, he didn’t show any sign of life, and the place behind him was so dark. Suddenly there was lots of smoke covering the place, while the ghost looked like an animal more than a human. his feet looked like a gorilla’s feet, so he stood on his knees and he said:[/INDENT]
[INDENT]“It such a honour to have you here in my palace”[/INDENT]
[INDENT]I smiled, then he asked me to come into his room, but every piece of furniture in the room was covered with blood except one sofa, which was white as a white paper, in a nice way he asked me to set down on one of the sofas, but I refused and I stood on my place, he then shouted at me [/INDENT]
[INDENT]“Sit-down or I am going to kill you” [/INDENT]
[INDENT]Ok, I said, and walked toward the white sofa but he stood on my way pointing his finger to one of the stained sofas. I stood on my place, suddenly he picked up a dagger and he wanted to kill me, I screamed and started crying. I closed my eyes and I continued screaming and crying. [/INDENT]
[INDENT]At the end I heard the door opened, so I opened my eye and saw the dagger between my eyes. When I turned my head to the door, I saw the old woman and the young gentleman standing by the door. The old woman walked toward the monster and took the dagger from his hand. So I walked backwards and I crashed the old woman but I didn’t hurt her because my body passed through her body. I screamed loudly and I couldn’t hear anything except my voice’s echo. I fall down on the one of the sofas I don’t know which one, because I passed out as I heard from my family later on. Six months later I opened my eyes and saw the world was different, I was on one of the most modern hospitals in the world, and all of my family was around me, I became so happy. My uncle asked me about the game, I then remembered that I was on a trip to Disneyland and I was playing a game which was called the old death Indian castle. I replied to my uncle by smiling. When all of my family left the room I saw a man standing by the window. [/INDENT]
[INDENT]“Who are you?” I said.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]“******” he said.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]When I heard his voice and when he turned his face I remembered the gentleman in the castle. I screamed and I went in a coma again but this time wasn’t for too long like the first time.
[INDENT]with love$$e
[/INDENT]
[INDENT][B]written by ****** me[/B][/INDENT]
[INDENT]too long init!!!!!:confused:
[/INDENT]
[INDENT]i'll feel glade f i c ur opinions on it [/INDENT]
[/INDENT]
[INDENT]Hi ya [/INDENT]
[INDENT]how r u ppl[/INDENT]
[INDENT]am posting this story and am soo nervous!!!![/INDENT]
[INDENT]it is one of my school essaies acctually it's the first one[/INDENT]
[INDENT]it's abit long but hope u enjoy reading it...... ohhh man muh hands are shacking[/INDENT]
[INDENT]oh yeah i knw that their are sum spelling mistakes and i got a problem using the tense but never mind!!!![/INDENT]
[INDENT][B]In a quite cold night, the wind howled like a wild wolf. It was a nice evening but I felt something weird. I ignored all of these feelings and I enjoyed my time by singing a lovely old song which I’ve learned from my grandmother. Suddenly I heard a weird noise which made me feels a bit scared but the noises stopped and the silence covered the place again. The moon shine was strong that night which made it looks like it’s a daytime. The coldness that night was unusual, I felt like I was a frozen piece of meet. The weather was so bad, even though the moon shine was so strong; the fog was covering the place. After time I heard a loud scream and the carriage started rolling over a large downhill. I closed my eyes, and I started screaming as well. Suddenly the carriage stopped, I opened my eyes and I found out that we fall on a river, and I was about to drawn, I started swimming, calling the driver of the carriage, and turned right and left to find someone to help me, but there was no answer. So I decided to continue swimming to get to where I want to go. In my way to the river bank, I saw driver body hanged to a tree trunk and his face was stained with blood, it seems like a strong tree branch hit his head and it kills him or maybe someone does that to him. The horse noise got me back to the real world when I saw him at the river bank. I decided to ride the horse even though I didn’t know where to go but it is better than staying with a dead body. As I said at the beginning the fog was covering the place I couldn’t see nothing it was so dark, I was alone and it was freezing. It was midnight and it was so quite. Suddenly I heard a nice song; I decided to follow the voice. Finally I saw a big castle which was surrounded with a small river I was thirsty I wanted to drink from the river but the water was dark. I remembered the roamers about the dark water lake and that the person who drinks from it will die because the water is poisoned. I left that river and I went toward the castle while the song already stopped, at last I am on the front of huge black door with two lions sculpture. [/B][/INDENT]
[INDENT]The door was too old but it was strong as a steel door. I was looking for the handle I hardly could find it because of the darkness. I knocked the door for several times but there was no answer I felt disappointed. I was about to leave the castle but I heard a noise. It was a footstep, my feelings were combined of joy because I am going to meet a human being, and worry of the way they are going to treat me, my heart beating went faster and faster as the footsteps comes closer. The door is opened and very bright lights came through the door as it opened. I saw an old woman she looks strange and the grey hair was covering her head. Her eyes were big blue eyes as a cat eyes. She was short and wearing a long black dress. Behind this old woman there was a huge old chandelier. I also saw a large stairs covered with a nice velvety red carpet. The woman welcomed me and she asked me to follow her through the hall.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]The hall walls were covered with nice silver silky clothes. The walls were so high, and there was lots of animals heads stick on the walls. The old woman led me into a large room. “What is your name” I said.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]“Hanissa” she replied.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]“My name is Mimi” I said.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]“Mmm!!” she said.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]The room was so big but it was cold, there were only two candles in the room. The dust covered all of the furniture. There was a secret door in the floor of the room. [/INDENT]
[INDENT]There was a large cupboard the cupboard handle was made of gold. The room smells like a cemetery, the old woman left me alone in the room.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]I lay on the big coloured bed, and started falling asleep till I heard a loud strange noise, I panicked, and felt cold because the window was opened. The thunder was rumbling outside and the rain dampened the curtain. I saw a little bird flying away from the castle and there was an eagle flying after him. The little bird couldn’t run a way from the wild eagle the eagle tear each part of the bird and eat it. After a while I heard a footsteps coming toward the room. The footstep sounds like a monster footstep. There was no one with me in the room. I imagine my self in the place of that poor bird. I was about to scream but I couldn’t because I knew if I scream the monster well knew my place and he will hurt me. I started thinking and I decided to fight for my life and not to surrender. [/INDENT]
[INDENT]The footstep went slower and closer to the door of the room. I remembered that I have seen a ground door, I decided to hide their, but I hardly could open the door, the place was so dark. I took one of the candles which were in the room, my whole body and my hands were trembling. The candle falls down from my hand, when I was closing the door. The place was too dark down there; the sound of the footsteps was clearer, I could hear the wooden floor was creaking over my head. I smelled a strange smell which I have never ever smelled in my life. It was a smell which I couldn’t recognize, but I recognized it after felt the dripping of water coming from up stairs. It was the smell of the water or the rain which drips on the dust and turns it to mud. It was a nice smell but suddenly it turned to a dead bodies smell.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]The place was so gloomy and drenched it was so dirty and the spider webs were all over the place. Suddenly a light shine came through the heavy door, which broke the darkness. I felt like I am back to life after long time of death or sleeping. My feelings were a blend of happiness to be free again on one hand, and frightened till dead from the unknown destination on the other hand. I ignored all of those thoughts and I decided to face my destiny. From the light I saw a hand rose to me, and heard a warm voice asking me not to be scared. Even though this hand was wet I raised my hand. That footsteps wasn’t a monster footsteps it was a gentleman or a General footsteps. That strange person was wet I realised that the water drops were from him, then I felt a bit comfortable when I saw him, he seemed really nice and kind. [/INDENT]
[INDENT]“Would you like to follow me please” he said.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]“How can I trust” I said.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]“Trust me please and you will not regret” he replied.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]“Let’s go” I said.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]I followed him through the long hall, the castle was empty and there was no one there except me and him. The old woman disappeared as if she was not in the castle from the very beginning. I was worried because I didn’t know where I am going to.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]As I was walking through the passage, I remembered that every thing in the castle has been changed. Some of the furniture was clean but now it’s stained with blood, there weren’t many pictures on the walls, but the walls are full of pictures. I felt like that, those pictures were staring at me everywhere I go, like they have secret eyes for spying. There were lots of doors; I heard different sounds coming from those doors. The castle was full of mirrors. Each time I passed beside one of the mirrors, I saw different people, for example one time I saw a young boy raising his hand to me and asking for help. I asked that person about those people he said: you girl has wide imagination. I heard a loud laugh, which made my heart beating faster as we get closer towards the place of the laugh. I felt like that big castle is as small as a grave. That man was so quite that he didn’t say a single word. He was walking with lots of confidence towards a huge door. The laughter stopped as we stopped in by the door. [/INDENT]
[INDENT]The man asked me to knock the door and not to be afraid of my destiny, he left me and he continued walking along the passage. The place was so scary I started seeing people and I started hallucinating again. My body was sweating, my legs were vibrating. After a while I saw my hand knocking the door without feeling. I stunned at my place when I saw the person who opened the door. His body was covered with hair, he looked like a ghost or a dead body just came back from the other world. I couldn’t say anything I just stand on my place with my mouth opened. That ghost got a silver eye colour, and they were sparkling. He got big ears and his nails were so dirty. He smells like a dead body in a very high temperature, he didn’t show any sign of life, and the place behind him was so dark. Suddenly there was lots of smoke covering the place, while the ghost looked like an animal more than a human. his feet looked like a gorilla’s feet, so he stood on his knees and he said:[/INDENT]
[INDENT]“It such a honour to have you here in my palace”[/INDENT]
[INDENT]I smiled, then he asked me to come into his room, but every piece of furniture in the room was covered with blood except one sofa, which was white as a white paper, in a nice way he asked me to set down on one of the sofas, but I refused and I stood on my place, he then shouted at me [/INDENT]
[INDENT]“Sit-down or I am going to kill you” [/INDENT]
[INDENT]Ok, I said, and walked toward the white sofa but he stood on my way pointing his finger to one of the stained sofas. I stood on my place, suddenly he picked up a dagger and he wanted to kill me, I screamed and started crying. I closed my eyes and I continued screaming and crying. [/INDENT]
[INDENT]At the end I heard the door opened, so I opened my eye and saw the dagger between my eyes. When I turned my head to the door, I saw the old woman and the young gentleman standing by the door. The old woman walked toward the monster and took the dagger from his hand. So I walked backwards and I crashed the old woman but I didn’t hurt her because my body passed through her body. I screamed loudly and I couldn’t hear anything except my voice’s echo. I fall down on the one of the sofas I don’t know which one, because I passed out as I heard from my family later on. Six months later I opened my eyes and saw the world was different, I was on one of the most modern hospitals in the world, and all of my family was around me, I became so happy. My uncle asked me about the game, I then remembered that I was on a trip to Disneyland and I was playing a game which was called the old death Indian castle. I replied to my uncle by smiling. When all of my family left the room I saw a man standing by the window. [/INDENT]
[INDENT]“Who are you?” I said.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]“******” he said.[/INDENT]
[INDENT]When I heard his voice and when he turned his face I remembered the gentleman in the castle. I screamed and I went in a coma again but this time wasn’t for too long like the first time.
[INDENT]with love$$e
[/INDENT][INDENT][B]written by ****** me[/B][/INDENT]
[INDENT]too long init!!!!!:confused:
[/INDENT][INDENT]i'll feel glade f i c ur opinions on it [/INDENT]
[/INDENT]