Wear your mask and join our society

    • Wear your mask and join our society


      In "The Ghost" Topic
      oman0.net/forum/showthread.php?t=71575

      We came accross how people should meet/intract with each other.
      many ways of course... but not all were accepted ...
      because most would go against what our society defines as "right".

      What is the right that our society wants??s
      we always speak "what would people say if so and so??"... s
      the disaster is who are those "people"????s
      whom do we mean when we say 'people"???s
      how can we let others dictate the way we live, what we believe, and the relationships we choose to have???s

      Unfortunately, this mentality , as i said before, made hypocrisy the main "virtue" that we must have, or else we are "wrong", as society says.

      We have to live by certain rules of society or else we are rejected..
      so we have to wear a mask that satisfies the "people", and it doesnt matter if we are rotten and filthy inside..... s

      we miss so many chances of knowing wonderful people because we couldnt see beyond the ridiculous walls that we built among us instead of "bridges of trust and honesty".

      as youself and PLEASE let us know:
      Do you avoid someone if you "heard" something "bad" about them, even if they were a freind?????s
      Do you avoid somenone becuase they look different?????s
      Do you avoid/reject/hate someone because they believe in something u dont??s
      How do you meet new people (if any)???s
      How do you define a relationship if its right or wrong???s

      Now, do you agree that hypocrisy is taking over our lives, and we are all living a big lie??s

    • Mrs Unfaithful, thank u 4 the interesting topic.
      i'd just like to comment 1st on the last thing u said that the life is a lie, i'm not really sure y a person like u ( given the interesting points u mentioned above) says something like this. what i think is that in our daily life, we deal with many ppl and it depends to a certain extent on how can we make the best use of our knowledge to benefit from those people.
      regarding your questions, i cant really give specific answers as they vary as situations vary.

    • Thank you Mrs. Unfaithful
      Sure we are living hypocrisy, social hypocrisy that is. Life has changed, and something inside, something around us forces us all to practice social hypocrisy. We need to take as it is, as it comes

      I will be avoiding everything and not only people that might affect my reputation, and as they say, a man is a reputation

      I tend to be two, thre, four ......of a kind when I pick someone to be a friend with, or have any kind of relationship with. I usually "study" the person before me, what mentality he has, how truthful and honest he is. I somehow try to look for what I call harmony between us

      I general evey one of us likes to have a friend who could see himself inside that other person

      Sorry, I am not answernig your questions in order, but I felt like writing what I have inside of me

      I used to write 'do not what to call it' and I wrote once under the title 'The Story', I wrote
      How sad to see the good days go by
      How sad to know our story is only a lie

      Sorry I could not remember it
      :)
      10derness

    • Mrs.Unfaithful كتب:



      as youself and PLEASE let us know:
      Do you avoid someone if you "heard" something "bad" about them, even if they were a freind?????s
      Do you avoid somenone becuase they look different?????s
      Do you avoid/reject/hate someone because they believe in something u dont??s
      How do you meet new people (if any)???s
      How do you define a relationship if its right or wrong???s

      Now, do you agree that hypocrisy is taking over our lives, and we are all living a big lie??s


      I start with life is so great to answer your question as follow
      No I'll not avoid any one even if Iheard bad thing about them because not every thing is right
      No i'll not avoid any one who look difference because this the life
      No but I'll challenge them and I have lots of friends of this type
      In the work, street and throgh net
      Relationship is committed and open approach
      No I do not agree with u. It is depends how ur living ur life. To me It is great and I have to enjoy it



    • RoMaNtIc_DrEaMs
      living in a big lie, i didnt mean that all the people are liars. I meant that our society itself, the norms that we live by, are all contradicting. The issue is REALLY broad... but mainly i meant the relationships between people. The way people interact and communicate with each other.

      Tenderness!!!i
      what do you mean "a man is reputation"????s :confused:
      You mean male "man" or humans "man-kind"?????s
      from what i see and live and it irritates me sooo much is that males are everything but a reputation. He can basically dance in the streets and no one would say anything. I dont see guys care about thier reputation cuz NO one actually holds anything against them anyways


      YSK_lol
      good for you!!!!i $$j
      But why dont you agree that hypocrisy is taking over our lives??s


    • Well, let me first start by thanking Mrs. Unfaithful for taking the initiative to open this subject again. I also loved the title which was very creative, don't you think so guys?/
      The issue we discussing here is a bit sensitive and we might not find any solutions or even clues to this issue. It's very complicated..

      I don't think we ended up with any ways of how people should meet. Let me be very open and honest here. It gets much more difficult when a guy wants to meet a girl or vice versa. There are so many ways and most of them are ILLEGAL (according to our society). According to the people Mrs Unfaithful were talking about, the only way they want us to meet is that the boy go to the girl's father and ask him for her hand without knowing anything about her except the surname and a bit of news from his mother or sister…

      I don't agree in that at all. I believe in love before marriage and I encourage people for it. Love is the only way that makes a relationship last forever. I mean the true love.
      The big question is how you find that love and here is the point we seek her. How do you find your partner? If you can't advertise for a big party to choose a princess then what else can we do?/ if you can't trust the way of meeting a partner on the shopping mall, then where can I find him/her??

      Yes, sometimes I care of what people think of me or my future wife. But if I'm convinced of the way we live or convinced of her as a partner, I'd never let them criticize me or her for a choice I made or for a person I live with not them.
      I think we will never heal from this society and the best way is to adjust to the situation you have. I don't mind wearing a mask for a bit, if it ends up living with the one I always wanted..

      Normally, when you choose a partner you don't look at how she/he looks like, where she is from, or even how good she's at cooking. We look at those intangible touches between the two hearts and that's what matters most. I know that beauty and being good at house work is an advantage, but should never be a hump in your way…


      Guys
      Enjoy your time..and have fun..

      The Ghost

    • Hi to all

      Actually I didn't read The Ghost topic but I think it's interning that's why it has more than 5 or 4 pages and all of u guys participate in it…

      The thing that took my attention is the headline of this topic Wear Your Mask And Join Our Society

      My quotation is

      Why do you have to wear a mask dear sister???

      You don't need a mask to join this society just be yourself. Even if this society has different rules try to establish your believe and spread it ((of course if it with our religion believes and rules)).

      We don't need masks to wear >>> well actually there is no masks in my own society<<<< we need honesty or a new way of dealing this is our generation and every generation has its own way of thinking. We don't have to flatter people and if there is something I don't like about anybody I'll just tell that person honestly.

      There is another point about what The Ghost had said about marring and love. Personally I don't believe on love before marring there can be a kind of admiration before marrying but not a real love. A real love consolidates after marring.

      That's all what I have now I may come back

      Regards To All

    • Mrs.Unfaithful كتب:



      YSK_lol
      good for you!!!!i $$j
      But why do not you agree that hypocrisy is taking over our lives??s

      [/b]

      Well I don agree because I belive on the following statment “Don’t judge other people, or you will be judged. You will be judged in the same way that you judge others, and the amount you give to others will be given to you. Why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friends eye, but you don’t notice the big piece of wood in your own eye? How can you say to your friend, ‘let me take that little piece of dust out of your eye’, Look at yourself! You still have that big piece of wood in your own eye. You hypocrite! First take the wood out of your own eye. Then you will see clearly to take the dust out of your friends eye”
      Also the Hypocrisy is a world like other world which is not affected my life and it is as friends, love, relationships, kindness, promises, faith, parents, brothers, standards, sisters, money, God, giving, school, revenge, sexuality, thankfulness, drink, charity, fairness, patience, ***, beliefs, expectations, gossip, poking fun, wasting time, lies, stealing, taking



    • The Ghost believes in love before marriage
      Miss Bomb doesnt.

      I am sure each have thier reasons, so we (the rest) have no right to say which one is wrong or which on is right. Each chose what to believe, and they only can change that.

      sometimes the rejection of the people around you is unbearable, that you feel its time to put on a mask just to live in peace.

      The Ghost,
      yes, even though a relationship should be the choice of the people who are involved in it, it doesnt seem that way in our society at all.

      Miss bomb,
      i know! agree with you totally! but this not the way it is!!i
      I wish honesty was the rule #1, then all the other good virtues would definately follow up.
      For someone to be themselves, there is always a proce to pay.
      because if "people" didnt like the real you, well then, what a painful day, everyday would be.


      YSK_lol..
      Your statement tell us that YOU are not a hypocrate. But it doesnt convey that the rest of people are like you!!!.

      I think that this society needs to be more open to other cultures and different people. I feel like people are living inside a dark cave. all they see is each other and what *THEY* define for themselves. Everything they do and believe is right, and all whoever different from them is wrong. Not only that, but they are eating each other up because there is nothing else to do!i

      Thats whats makes us wear a mask to blend in with the rest, because if we dont, we would look different, and that would mean being in the spot for a while, and eventually being rejected.

      If each and every person just be themselves
      If she doesnt want to wear a Abaya, then let her be. she is lying to herself and to others by wearing something she doesnt want.

      If her bestfreind is being critisized by so and so because she does so and so
      SO????!!!!i
      It is her freind, not the "people's", and she would be with her

      He thinks she is a sl&$% because she doesnt wear this and that.
      If he only knew that whats in peoples' hearts is not worn with clothes.

      if only each person had the courage to be themselves, and live with choices that "they" made for themselves. thats when they would be throwing out thier masks.
      ......................Until Then


    • Thanks a lot dear sister for bringing this hot topic. I have to say that you read my mind because i was also intending to post a topic similar to yours but i couldn't for i haven't the chance recently..

      I agree with you that we sometimes wear masks to satisfy our society and our people..

      We wear a mask in the way we tend sometimes to change some of our habits in order to satisfy the societ and keep our reputation as Tenderness said before..

      For example, if you are from a countryside but you live in the Capital, you can't do the noraml things you tend to do in the capital in the countryside. I have to say that this issue really upset me and i hated to follow what people or the societ want us to do.

      For example, even the simple and trifle things they care about it.If a girl wears a sunglasses in the countryside, people will start talking . USually, these people are the young boys who like to gossip a lot. Also, the girls and not allowed to walk or get out by the car after 10. So, shall we really follow the ules or challeange them?!!!

      At first, i didn't want to be somebody else and wear a mask. I want to be myself and what i used to do. But, i started to think deeply bout this issue and i said reputation is very important, so i have to follow the rules of our society..

      SO, i last i wear the mask and i follow my society because i care a lot for my repuation..


      i will come later because i have a lot to talk about and clarify some points..

      So, see you later inshallah

    • آنسه قنبلة كتب:

      Hi to all

      Actually I didn't read The Ghost topic but I think it's interning that's why it has more than 5 or 4 pages and all of u guys participate in it…

      The thing that took my attention is the headline of this topic Wear Your Mask And Join Our Society

      My quotation is

      Why do you have to wear a mask dear sister???

      You don't need a mask to join this society just be yourself. Even if this society has different rules try to establish your believe and spread it ((of course if it with our religion believes and rules)).

      We don't need masks to wear >>> well actually there is no masks in my own society<<<< we need honesty or a new way of dealing this is our generation and every generation has its own way of thinking. We don't have to flatter people and if there is something I don't like about anybody I'll just tell that person honestly.

      There is another point about what The Ghost had said about marring and love. Personally I don't believe on love before marring there can be a kind of admiration before marrying but not a real love. A real love consolidates after marring.

      That's all what I have now I may come back

      Regards To All



      i really agree with you sis,,if u wanna live as u r , just be yourself and never try to do what other ppl do unless u think what they do is right. this is the way i live,, i dont like showing off,, especially if i dont have anything, I ALWAYS TRY TO BE MYSELF.


    • Why wearing a mask when we all know what the rules are. The only difference here that people by nature cannot accept anything new that is coming into the society and the fear of this new thing that it will affect the new generation and make them stop holding on to their real old values which what really happened at the end nowadays,,, that's why we are attacked everytime we do something unusual without people thinking whether it is good or bad for us

      what are the right things that our society wants?
      These are the things that a group of people agreed of acting upon in the past, these are the norms they decided to carry it on to the next generations. The society wants us to keep on doing what our older generations did. The interesting thing that the new things entering our society can either ruin us or improve our lives, we decide which side of the weapon we should use

      We always speak yeah, what would people say if we do so and so. Of course we need to consider people after all. It's true that we say we don't care, but let's not forget that we are not living alone on this planet. There are people who are also living on it and want it to be a better place, there are people who want to destroy too... We need to consider people in certain things because those people who are forming some part of our dignity. How do you know that a person is good or bad, from people. So they are the ones who determine IF you know what you are doing and it has to be something that doesn't violate any of norms of the society

      The people we mean here are those we live with in one house, in one area, in one town, in one state, in one country and in one world!!! Why do you have to behave yourself at school to win the award of being the best well-behaved student?? Why do you care about what others think?? we want people to think that are only good. Let them tell us the bad side of us too, this is for our own good to better ourselves. Who are those people? Those people can be the government too, they have certain rules and laws. Who are those people? They are the prophets who were sent by Allah to open up people's eyes to the many wrong things they were doing.. That's how we knew our religion, it has certain rules that we need to follow. Let's be frank here, there are things in Islam that stops us from seeing the world, but there are many other ways to achieve the same aim, we need to use our mind to find these ways and that's why Allah made it harder for Muslims

      Most importantly, you know who you are... You know yourself, even if you did a mistake and people started saying that you are wrong, so what? You are not the first one nor the last one. get the lesson and move on. People talk a lot, you need to be firm and confident. People are not going to judge you at the end, be patient and Allah will judge you and will be the only one who is going to be fair with you in judging you....0

      As for your questions, I dont think I'd avoid anyone just because I HEARD , I need to make sure it's true first and then try to weigh it whether avoiding the person is harmful or harmless. In some cases there are people we need to avoid even if they were friends IF AND ONLY IF what was said was true, but doesnt mean that we mistreat them or be rude with them, they are human beings after all and we have no right to humilate anyone because of a mistake, just be good and keep distance

      Of course not avoid anyone because of the looks,
      أتعيب الخلقة ام الخالق؟؟
      We can't otherwise we are then racist and racisim is not accepted in Islam, we are all equal and Islam calls for equality

      No reason to hate the person or avoid or reject just because they disagreed. True that we will feel a bit davistated but hey at the end it's a personal opinion.
      لولا تعدد الاذواق لما تعددت السلع
      And we nee this kind of differences between people to please all sort of people. We dont have to agree on everything, and at the same time we dont have to mean to each other too. Unless we are just looking for any reason to stay away from the person. Sometimes hanging around with people who always disagree with you can help you see things from different sides and think differently anyway. Learn from everything, even if that things is something not good

      I meet people in many different ways, in person, at the shops, when walking around, at the bus, at uni, on internet, at someone's house or when they come along with people I already know...etc

      Defining a relationship whether it's right or wrong, first comes the prupose and the way the two parties are interacting as it has to be within the boundaries that Islam has made it clear to us.

      No we are not living in a big lie, because Allah has created all this for a reason which is to worship him and no one else. Hypocrisy make has taken over some people's live but that's only if we allow that to happen to us.

      My opinion does not have to be right, I may be wrong. At the end, it's still my personal opinion and I'm sorry to keep you reading my long reply

      Cheers


    • Just something to keep in mind

      من راقب الناس مات هماً

      Sometimes we should not make it a big deal when people consider what we do is wrong even if it's not. Maybe it's something new to them and all they need is to be educated about it with explaining the good and bad things about it..

      The examples Whisper mentioned are good ones. I wonder why can't we do the normal things we do everyday. If for example you are wearing sunglasses in the city side, then fair enough. If you do so in the towns at the countryside then let people talk. Who is getting the ethem or '3aibah and nameemaH??? Just don't do something too much that people don't expect at all and study them before you do anything silly that may embaress you or them and make them feel bad or humilated. For example, I remember my grandmother when I was a kid told me that if you dont burp after lunch at a place where you were invited for lunch then it's considered bad and a shame to the family because you didnt like the food, and also at some places you have to knock on the door before you enter the house or call before you visit someone. So we need to consider people's way of living. It's nice when you do something that pleases them if you can, otherwise you can explain to them why you cant. Share these things, values, differences and similarities between you and them.. Good communication is the key people


    • waw... good to be back to NaWar's LONG replies :)

      Now, respecting people and thier tradition is one thing, and behaving in a certain way just to please people is another.

      What i am trying to say is that our society is close minded and ignorant. basically.
      As you said, if anything new was introduced, they directly say its wrong and bad. Without looking at the other side, the brighter side.
      If something is different from the norms and the traditions of a certain society, that does not mean that its wrong, it is simply just "different" .. thats it

      The problem is by going with the fllow and wearring a mask just to blend in, we ARE living a big lie. Lying to ourselves and to others. We wil not be making our society better. It might "look" and "seem" peacfull and respectful. But we all know what goes behind the scenes.

      What would happen is each person just simply behaved the way they want and said whats in thier mind .. honestly???????s
      From what you said about respecting norms and that we have to respect people around us. We can always speak our mind and be ourselves with respecting people. But the thing is this society is based on that if we did not follow thier norms , no matter how much we disagree, then we are not respecting them. This is forcing us to be hypocrates.

      Honeslty, no matter how much you tried to please people and make them shut up, they will never do, because its not about you at the end, its about THIER sick minds and empty souls.
      So, you might as well be yourself and go with what you BELIEVE, because trying to please the people is hopeless.

      $$t $$t


    • Hey Mrs Unfaithful,
      I always wanted to follow up the topic and today I got the chance.. Talking about pleasing others as you said is hopeless because it's very hard to please a massive group of people simply because they are different and each of them would want you to do things they way he/she wants.

      Honestly, I would do and I always do what I want to do but I make sure that Im doing at the right time with the right conditions. And if I do something, does everyone need to know? I did many things but I never tell everyone, the only person who knows what I did is my mother only. What I mean is the things that I think are OK and others would consider it NOT OK. I dont need to hide, thats correct, but I just dont want to bother myself with lots of crap from people. To shut them up, just ignore them or dont tell'em..

      As for me, I dont care if the person in front of me agrees or not, if I think there is nothing wrong with it then I will go ahead with it. But sometimes I have to think twice, do I really have to do it? You know sometimes we do things just because we are stubborn, and Im very much like that. There are many times I'd do what someone doesnt like because Im being stubborn and want to annoy them and make them mad, I was so evil. But not any more.. lol

      One thing is, it's not impossible for people to accept from you what they believe it's not OK by continue doing it and be confident about it. Then they will have no choice but accept you the way you are. At this stage, Im only talking about the things that are normal and people make it a big deal

      I'd feel good about myself, if I could do what I want, at the same time please the others. I guess we need to talk to them and discuss those matters with them. Let them know our point of view and why we think it's alright. Many have wrong information about many issues.. i

      Cheers


    • Thanks Nawar reviving this topic again :)

      This is exactly the point, why does anyone have to hide anyways?? to avoid the crap of people .. if you think of it.. those same people who will talk crap about you if you did something unusual ,, are your neighbours, colleages, even freinds
      I am sure they are hiding doing thier own unusual things too, while speaking crap about other people

      But, are we forced to wear this mask just to avoid criticism? if every single person believed that he has the right to be whatever he wants to be and no one has any business controling that right, i think alot of us would be more comfortable being ourselves.

      To do something that is not socially accepted just to be stubborn ... might sound childish.. but still its a good way to start !!!!i
      its not the act of it, its the principle that is appreaciated and valued


    • You know what Mrs Unfaithful, just talking about friends and colleges, you are right. Only yesterday unfortunately something happened to me that I've never expected it to happen, not for me, at least not from those people.. THey were Bi***ing about people and I was one of them. I was laugning my head off when I knew what they said about me. I dont mind them critisizing, but not saying things that are not true and dont exist. I was hurt and felt so sorry for them because they are not giving themselves the chance to face me and say it on my face, instead they act sweet and show me their mask.. lol, funny and sad.. this is the community we are living it, that was just an example of how people wear such masks.. not to please the community only, but to please individuals as well and then appear in an angel's image

      Unfortunately, many people dont have the guts to be themselves, to show their real faces because they are either bad and dont want to show it because they are cowards or just too introvert that they dont like socializing and they would go with the flow..

      TO be critisized is not something bad really, it depends on how we take it. We can just take it as a comment from someone or an insult.. it's all up here (head)i'

      You said it, it's not the act it's the principle, you are absolutely right!!i

    • You said it ALL, my freind, ... as usual ;)i

      People never be themselves, because they are cowards... whether they are "good" people or "bad" people.. thats a totally subjective judgment. They alos never be themselves because our community expects EVERYBODY to act and look in a certain way to be accepted.

      People end up worrying about how to please others and how to be not rejected by others that the forget what *they* really want . and want to be and want to do ...

      taking criticism from others also depends on how they do it!!!!... name-calling someone isnt really going to help them be better, for example. Again, its also constructive criticism requires honesty, which is why hypocrate cowards arent really good at advice, as they are at gossipping ... and ignorant labeling of others...