A man came into the ER and yelled, "My wife's
going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed
my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's
dress, and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs -
and I was in the wrong one.
Dr. Mark MacDonald,
San Antonio, TX
==============================================
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news
when I told a wife that her husband had died
of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than
five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the
rest of the family that he had died of a
"massive internal fart."
Dr. Susan Steinberg,
Manitoba, Canada ``
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I was performing a complete physical, including
the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty
feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right
eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line
perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read.
"Now both," I requested. There was silence.
He couldn't even read the large E on the top
line. I turned and discovered that he had done
exactly what I had asked; he was standing
there with both his eyes covered. I was
laughing too hard to finish the exam.
Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA
*********************************************
During a patient's two week follow-up
appointment with his cardiologist, he
informed me, his doctor, that he was having
trouble with one of his medications. "Which
one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told
me to put on a new one every six hours and
now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had
him quickly undress and discovered what I
hoped I wouldn't see . .. . Yes, the man had
over fifty patches on his body! Now, the
instructions include removal of the old patch
before applying a new one.
Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
##############################
While acquainting myself with a new elderly
patient, I asked, "How long have you been
bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion
she answered... "Why, not for about twenty years -
when my husband was alive."
Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR `
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