Hot Question and Hot Topic

    • Hot Question and Hot Topic

      Hi again,
      I just come back with a new question and it might be a little sensetive but let us go through it.
      IS it OK if a man met a lady here in Oman in the purpose of Friendship and Brotherhood and we all know that City Center is a place for many meetings #j

      Many of young men think it is Ok to meet girls in the purpose of friendship and of course men will enjoy this kind of friendship a lot and nothing will happen to them.
      BUt, for girls their reputation is in risk and they are blind by this kind of relationships.

      SO, my question, do you think it is Ok for them to meet in the purpose of friendship?!!

      It is A question that let me feel burned from inside to know that some young men feel happy with this kind of friendship?!!

      Unfortunately, most of these meetings started from such sites like Alsa7a and many others or through the chatting.

      Waiting your answers and comments.

      Scream

    • hmmmmm
      interesting topic.. Scream !!i
      I truely truely like your topics and i am so glad that you
      hehehe
      Really
      #e

      Anyways,
      I think we have came across this issue here before... but in an implicit way i guess

      But its interesting that you mentioned how *men* would feel/view the freindship with females


      I'll tell you what i think,
      Of course here in our society, its not the norm to see male and female freinds all around, it all depends on the family and on how the people themselves are. I know alot of parents in Oman do not approve of thier daughters having male freinds, because most men will trick the girls in the whole concept of pure freindship to get what they want ... i know its a disturbing thing.. but this is what happens sometimes

      Of course not all men are evil like that

      Some men truely prefer to have freindships with a girl because they enjoy each other. Just like two girls or two guys would become freinds and understand each other.
      A must first and foremost *respect* his female freind... he must understand that no matter how strong thier freindship is... there would still be some certain boundaries that he cannot (and she cannot) exceed


      in my college days, most of my freinds were males. I dont have any brothers , so with them i felt i do have brothers. they were there for me and we enjoyed our times together... wether in school or out ... The ones who were married or engaged.. even thier partners were good freinds of mine

      so my point is... if as you said, Scream, those boys and girls who meet in City Center or somwhere in the secret... they are not freinds.. I am sure you meant that they meet in secret ... right? A freindship is not something that you are ashamed of.. or scared of.. if they were true freinds and they know they are not doing something wrong.. why hide it

      That is my point of view.. i hope our brothers here would share with us what they think.. and honestly

      :)



    • Mrs.Unfaithful كتب:

      hmmmmm
      interesting topic.. Scream !!i
      I truely truely like your topics and i am so glad that you
      hehehe
      Really
      #e

      Anyways,
      I think we have came across this issue here before... but in an implicit way i guess

      But its interesting that you mentioned how *men* would feel/view the freindship with females


      I'll tell you what i think,
      Of course here in our society, its not the norm to see male and female freinds all around, it all depends on the family and on how the people themselves are. I know alot of parents in Oman do not approve of thier daughters having male freinds, because most men will trick the girls in the whole concept of pure freindship to get what they want ... i know its a disturbing thing.. but this is what happens sometimes

      Of course not all men are evil like that

      Some men truely prefer to have freindships with a girl because they enjoy each other. Just like two girls or two guys would become freinds and understand each other.
      A must first and foremost *respect* his female freind... he must understand that no matter how strong thier freindship is... there would still be some certain boundaries that he cannot (and she cannot) exceed


      in my college days, most of my freinds were males. I dont have any brothers , so with them i felt i do have brothers. they were there for me and we enjoyed our times together... wether in school or out ... The ones who were married or engaged.. even thier partners were good freinds of mine

      so my point is... if as you said, Scream, those boys and girls who meet in City Center or somwhere in the secret... they are not freinds.. I am sure you meant that they meet in secret ... right? A freindship is not something that you are ashamed of.. or scared of.. if they were true freinds and they know they are not doing something wrong.. why hide it

      That is my point of view.. i hope our brothers here would share with us what they think.. and honestly

      :)






      I liked your reply and some how it is logical and I am sorry that you don't have brothers so they could annoy you most of the time #j . Just kidding, they are too lovely sometimes despite they are means sometimes.

      You are right, i am talking about the relation of being in secret and nobody at all know about their relations. I really wonder how could they live their lives in such away and what really annoyed me you will find these men who meet girls in secret enjoy what they do put they will kill their sisters if they know they are meeting in secret some men. It is really contradictory here.

      I want to say something but I almost forget it $$t
      I might remember it later |a

    • Nice Topic, it touches me personally too..

      I'm not against the idea that Girls and Boys can meet in City Center or any other place if they believe from the deep of their hearts, that there's nothing behinds these meetings but being a good friend to him/her.

      I would love it more though if they meet and they have one BIG goal.
      which is to get and know each other more....for the BIGGER goal which is getting married.

      So, I'm against any meetings that have no purpose...
      Plus you can't trust boys at all...(but not me of course)
      I'm a guy ok and I know how Guys think like ( Lets say 88% of them, just not to make some people mad of me) we will just put them in the 22% left.

      but honestly, they have to be good reasons for such meetings or both will regret it..

      BY the way, not all men like the idea of being seen with a girl in a public place...
      Some of them do have a reputation to keep too...


      Have FUn and Excuse the language
      Ghost

    • Yes you are totally right, it’s a very hot Q. o0o

      To tell you the truth i am extremely against meetings between ladies and men wherever in the public places or in secret places

      Girls are very weak however men after that will talk about her in her back, and say that this lady has a bad behavior because she met me while her family doesn't know about that

      In addition to that what would the ppl say about this girl? i

      Really it's ~!@q difficult

      Just an $$e opinion

    • The Ghost كتب:

      Nice Topic, it touches me personally too..

      I'm not against the idea that Girls and Boys can meet in City Center or any other place if they believe from the deep of their hearts, that there's nothing behinds these meetings but being a good friend to him/her.

      I would love it more though if they meet and they have one BIG goal.
      which is to get and know each other more....for the BIGGER goal which is getting married.

      So, I'm against any meetings that have no purpose...
      Plus you can't trust boys at all...(but not me of course)
      I'm a guy ok and I know how Guys think like ( Lets say 88% of them, just not to make some people mad of me) we will just put them in the 22% left.

      but honestly, they have to be good reasons for such meetings or both will regret it..

      BY the way, not all men like the idea of being seen with a girl in a public place...
      Some of them do have a reputation to keep too...


      Have FUn and Excuse the language
      Ghost


      Thanks The Ghost for your reply
      BUT


      yes
      There is but always
      You said if they met in the purpose to know themselves more in order for the purpose of getting married is OK.
      To me, I don't think it is Ok to know her by meeting her. However, there is one condition to meet her in case her family knew from the beginning about their project.
      There is Hadith i can't recall it right now but it is about marriage in Islam .
      ANyway, the main point of this hadith that is not allowed for a man to be with his fiancee alone and somebody from the women's family should be with them. But it is Ok after Malkah.

      I know you are going to say, how we could know each other. To me, I think the traditional way is the best way in marriage and there is a different way you could do if you didn't like the tradition one. YOu could do that by telling her family at first and most of young people use this way and they start know each other through the phone instead of meeting.

      I don't want to go deep because i am afraid that i might get away from the main question. And again in my point of view i don't agree to meet with a man to know him more. Because I am thinking about the negatives, in case I didn't like him as my future husband, someone in future who will get engaged to me will know that this woman has already met another man?!!!

      Scream

    • بكوكة كتب:

      Yes you are totally right, it’s a very hot Q. o0o

      To tell you the truth i am extremely against meetings between ladies and men wherever in the public places or in secret places

      Girls are very weak however men after that will talk about her in her back, and say that this lady has a bad behavior because she met me while her family doesn't know about that

      In addition to that what would the ppl say about this girl? i

      Really it's ~!@q difficult

      Just an $$e opinion



      Thanks dear for your comment and i can not add over it because it is the same just like my opinion :)


    • :) here we go, A guy's point of view

      Clearly, The ghost, you have admitted that *most* men do NOT believe in freindship between them and girls... Its either a girl to marry ... or a girl to play with . period.

      And guess what, most girls are like that too. they do not believe that a friendship can exists between them and males. Even thier brothers and fathers... they are disconnected with them sometimes

      The interesting point you made is that some men would avoid being seen with girls to protect thier reputation. Sorry... but those are sissies with no personality. Unless the girl is a hooker of course... then they should care for thier reputation (and thier dignity and self respect too

      :)

      Scream,
      yeh.. i dont have brothers.. lol.. and believe me.. i think i am glad for that

      those boys and girls who meet in secret are playing .. they ar just messing around with each other.. they have nothing to do with freindship

      Did you remember what you wanted to say ???s
      :)

      i totally agree with
      بكوكة

      Most men will act all cool with having female freinds.. and that they have no problem with it.. but they would speak badly about them.. because deep inside they are cowards
      If they dont approve of female freinds.. why have them in the first place???s
      To fool them? to take advantage of them?
      such jerks!!!!i

    • Listen.

      Why men have to be blamed if FEW women have problems with them...

      Have you ever thought of how your relationship with your husband would look like if you (BOTH) have met a couple of times, talked about your future, got to understand each other, eliminated the differences and knew the similarities and differences..

      Mrs. Unfaithful point of view about MEN have some ego and reputation to keep is very crude...I would hate it to be seen with a girl I don’t know in a public place, not because I’m a sissy or a coward, it’s because I have been known among my families and friends as a man with PRINCIPALS and being seen like that is against my principals…The talk here doesn’t necessarily reflect The Ghost personality…

      Personally, I dislike being seen unless I believe within my heart that the girl sitting next to me is the girl I share something special with. The girl that might be my wife one day and the girl that I’ll hand my heart to.

      I guess it’s time for us to stop thinking about Tradition here….I have been telling you guys all along, that it’s too old for the time when we say “”Don’t Chase Love, but Rather Leave Love Comes to You, Just Like a Butterfly”
      To me, it’s time for all of us to chase it…because Love itself is confuse where to go to and it might never find its way to your heart forever and when the TRAIN goes by, then there’s no use for you to CRY ON SPILT MILK.

    • Sorry, The Ghost, but you are totally on a different wave length

      :)

      I was discussing "Freindship".... not love/Marriage .. and not meeting strange people either


      I would hate it to be seen with a girl I don’t know in a public place


      I Too would not want to be with a GIRL I dont know!!!i


      The men who I labeled as "cowards", are the ones who ACT like they are cool with having female freinds.. and that its ok.. But deep inside them they degrade those girls.. and they would NEVER allow thier sisters to have male freinds

      If a man has principles that prevent him from being with girls that he dont have any "Formal" relationship .. then thats great and i truly admire this type.. he just has to be true to himself and live by his principles

      However, that doesnt mean that any girl whom he doesnt "Love and wanna marry" .. is a shame.. !!! how about his colleages at work? his classmates at school?? ... there HAS to be some sort of a freindly relationship between him and them... and that does not mean that he has to Love them all and marry them all

      BTW
      Why does any discussion with you revolves around Marriage and Love???s
      ~!@q

      Freindship is a noble wonderful warm bound that any two humans can have as long as they RESPECT each other.... and UNDERSTAND each other... and are there for each other

      :)

    • I guess it’s time for us to stop thinking about Tradition here….I have been telling you guys all along, that it’s too old for the time when we say “”Don’t Chase Love, but Rather Leave Love Comes to You, Just Like a Butterfly”



      I don't think we could avoid talking about tradition at all because it is part of us and part of our society. But which kind of tradition do you exactly mean? Can you please tell us so i could not misunderstand you. :)

    • However, that doesnt mean that any girl whom he doesnt "Love and wanna marry" .. is a shame.. !!! how about his colleages at work? his classmates at school?? ... there HAS to be some sort of a freindly relationship between him and them... and that does not mean that he has to Love them all and marry them all


      I would like here to raise another case. Of course there is a sort of cooperation and a I can say a limited relation with out colleages in our work. however, Is it ok for two colleages from both gender to meet in public !!

      I think it is Ok if we treat our colleages in a friendy and respected way in the work environment but that should not go over the limitation and let us meet then in public. What do you think about that?!! :)


    • No Mr. Unfaithful. I'm whom should be sorry. I wasn't in the mood really and should have respected your point of view in any way...This is a free site in a FREE country.

      Ok girls, let me be honest with you for once and all. This might explains to Mrs. Unfaithful why I keep talking about Love and Marriage more that I talk about Friendship.

      Personally, I'm very sensitive of FRIENDSHIPS between boys and girls even if they were casual ones. The whole point here goes around the idea of Meeting a Friend/coworker/colleague or what ever in a public place ALONE. WHY SHOULD WE MEET?? and WITH WHOM?

      If they meet for the purpose to talk about work, study or a project, then why being alone and why they make sure they be alone. They can drag someone along and just mumble and mumble...I do so with my job friends all the time. We go for outside dinners and movies..etc. That's different...That's what you call Friendship. If one of us in trouble, we all be there ,individually or as a group, there for him/her and we also share him/her the happy moments as well...

      IF they meet for the purpose of talking about life, then what we call *Iblees* would be just around and we would go back to Scream's point ( HARAM ISSUE). Ok, you might come up with something like "oh but they meet alone because it's a personal issue". I degrade that too, because the minute one of them starts complaining about his/her life and his/her problems with parents and so on..etc.."Iblees" is sitting next to him/her flapping with his hands happily. Now talking, maybe crying, then touching and they end up doing some crazy stuff. I know this might not be true for all friends but 88% ,I would say, end up with it..

      Once again, the only reason I'm so into Marriage and Love, because they both are very very Sacred to me.I'm not saying Friendship isn't of course..

      Scream
      To me, the traditions I'd like to avoid is the way you get to choose your Wife/Husband this. I do admit it works 99% and I have no explanation of it, strange heh???.
      Plus I find myself here admit that there's a big percentage of marriages which didn't work as prior Lovers wished...You should lead the discussion here to talk about this strange phenomena too..??

      Last but not least, What I have been saying here is fully right copied to the Ghost and The Ghost only..Other men are spared of my thoughts and my thoughts are spared from them...In simple words, we shouldn't stick my words to all MEN on the universe as I speak here for myself only...I'm not a dam Speaker for them. They can come and pour their own ideas if they wish. You know, I was thinking of forming a ""Society For Man Rights"". Just Kidding...

      Keep Having Fun
      The Ghost.


    • IF they meet for the purpose of talking about life, then what we call *Iblees* would be just around and we would go back to Scream's point ( HARAM ISSUE). Ok, you might come up with something like "oh but they meet alone because it's a personal issue". I degrade that too, because the minute one of them starts complaining about his/her life and his/her problems with parents and so on..etc.."Iblees" is sitting next to him/her flapping with his hands happily. Now talking, maybe crying, then touching and they end up doing some crazy stuff. I know this might not be true for all friends but 88% ,I would say, end up with it..


      Finally I read what I was hoping to hear since we began the discussion in this topic. Thansk The Ghost. your opinion is totally right :)
      Ibless will be always behind these meeting no matter if they were just colleages or friends and of course here i mean from the both gender. So, that is why Islam didn't allow for a man and a woman to meet alone because Ibless will always be with them.


      Scream
      To me, the traditions I'd like to avoid is the way you get to choose your Wife/Husband this. I do admit it works 99% and I have no explanation of it, strange heh???.
      Plus I find myself here admit that there's a big percentage of marriages which didn't work as prior Lovers wished...You should lead the discussion here to talk about this strange phenomena too..??



      You are right, we should talk about this in a different topic because it a long topic and I think if we spent talking on it 10 pages it will still not be enough and to me I found that the traditional way in marriage is the sucessful way most of the time. I don't want to talk about it now because we will forget our main point in this topic.


      Last but not least, What I have been saying here is fully right copied to the Ghost and The Ghost only..Other men are spared of my thoughts and my thoughts are spared from them...In simple words, we shouldn't stick my words to all MEN on the universe as I speak here for myself only...I'm not a dam Speaker for them. They can come and pour their own ideas if they wish. You know, I was thinking of forming a ""Society For Man Rights"". Just Kidding...

      Keep Having Fun

      Honestly, I wish if all men opinions are just like yours and I hope acting at the same time because in our society we say but never act it at all. #j
      Of course you can establish your Society for men Rights but I think u will never need it because you already men have many rights more than women ~!@@ad
      SO, Don't be greedy $$g

    • The Ghost كتب:

      Scream
      I start to love you...

      I'm glad we have some commom stuff here

      Where is everybody from this topic..>>>>??


      well about the last paragraph, I was just kidding..

      have Fun..

      the ghost



      $$g $$g
      It seems that I have a black file
      and have u ever hated Scream $$t

      I wish if we could have more replies of some gentlemen :)

    • Its a nice topic thank you dear scream for the issue . I really liked the topic and decided to express my point of view and thats if you dont mind of course .
      In my point of view I think that before we take any step forword in our lives and before judging any issue and for we are all muslims we have to refer to our religion which is Islam which we embraced because we are totally certain and convinced that its the best religion in the whole globe and which have become part of our culture and traditions . and now when we apply the rulings of islam on this issue we can clearly remeber the hadith sharif told by our last prophit peace be upon him ,in the meaning of it he says " if a man and a woman meet in secret the devil (satan) will be a third companion for them "
      so , from this saying by prophit mohd peace be upon him we understand that the devil will share a man and a woman their secret meeting and we all know that the devil is the most dagerous enemy for all Adam's children as because of him our forefather Adam peace be upon him made the sin that made allah send him down to the earth and after regreting his bad sin allah forgave him
      and now when we get back to our topic , the devil which as we previously mentioned is the most dangerous enemy for us , can play with the couple's minds and they can commit a disgraceful sin that can take both of them to the hell fire after sticking a black mark onto their honour .

    • No Scream, you didn't have a black file at all...or did you??

      You know it like a stair..

      You know someone, then get to know him/her very well, then like him/her, then admire him/her until you love him/ and finally you worship him...but tha last one is for Allah of course...

      Pathfinder,

      We can't ignore Islam at all true

      have fun guys..
      The Ghost

    • pathfinder كتب:

      Its a nice topic thank you dear scream for the issue . I really liked the topic and decided to express my point of view and thats if you dont mind of course .
      In my point of view I think that before we take any step forword in our lives and before judging any issue and for we are all muslims we have to refer to our religion which is Islam which we embraced because we are totally certain and convinced that its the best religion in the whole globe and which have become part of our culture and traditions . and now when we apply the rulings of islam on this issue we can clearly remeber the hadith sharif told by our last prophit peace be upon him ,in the meaning of it he says " if a man and a woman meet in secret the devil (satan) will be a third companion for them "
      so , from this saying by prophit mohd peace be upon him we understand that the devil will share a man and a woman their secret meeting and we all know that the devil is the most dagerous enemy for all Adam's children as because of him our forefather Adam peace be upon him made the sin that made allah send him down to the earth and after regreting his bad sin allah forgave him
      and now when we get back to our topic , the devil which as we previously mentioned is the most dangerous enemy for us , can play with the couple's minds and they can commit a disgraceful sin that can take both of them to the hell fire after sticking a black mark onto their honour .


      Thanks dear brother for your point and I totally agree with you and we have to look at this case from Islamic side before anything. Unfortunately, many people are thinking themselves are free and modern by meeting in public and I mean of course girls and boys who just meet in public withouit the knowledge of their families and they will just say we are meeting to talk and expressing our feelings and we don't at all do anything wrong about that. I am really sorry that they don't think that this case si totally 7aram in Islam and if they think it is not wrong they should at least respect themselves by informing their families about theri meetings.

      Thanks a lot brother for passing and shooting your valuable opinion. :)
      Your sister
      Scream

    • I would like to comment on the notion of (Iblis being the third party)oOo

      Now, I know that some might be against ANY sort of freindship between males and females with an argument that thier "innocent" freindship may lead to to sinful acts

      I hope we be more sensible here

      just to make myself clear, i am PRO inter-gender relationship as long as its based on RESPECT
      RESPECT for the other person
      RESPECT for thier identity
      RESPECT for thier values, thier morals and thier self


      If a boy and a girl are freinds, that does not justify meeting in secret dark places, that doesnt justify having a talk in a hotel room, it doesnt justify talking a walk at a stranded beach at one o'clock in the morning.. nor does a so-called freindship justify having talks about "embarressing" sensitive matters

      Therefore, Iblis may be invited if the circumstances were set for that, but otherwise, i dont see how sinful acts may be triggered.. we are not animals here.. we have control on our actions

    • Mrs.Unfaithful كتب:


      If a boy and a girl are freinds, that does not justify meeting in secret dark places, that doesnt justify having a talk in a hotel room, it doesnt justify talking a walk at a stranded beach at one o'clock in the morning.. nor does a so-called freindship justify having talks about "embarressing" sensitive matters

      I totally agree with you Mrs.faithful . Friendship is something that is far apart from some illegal acts that we might observe which indicate bad intentions of a man and a woman such the ones you already mentioned …………..

      May allah keep our feet on the straight path
      May allah keep Iblees and his assistants away from us
      Amen