The story of my friend

    • The story of my friend

      I’ll tell you guys (and gals) something, and I want your opinion. It may be bit of a personal issue, which is precisely the reason I am putting it here…

      Ok.. I have a friend.. we knew each other since we were little. Then we separated cuz each went to a different country for universities.. anyways…

      when we finally got back together... She changed a lot… she become more introverted, homey and quite … in one word: Boring.

      At first I didn’t know what was wrong, until everything became clear. She is in a relationship with a guy who apparently wanted her to be this way.

      I was Crazy Mad. This is the worse type of relationships. I tried to advice her and tell her that a person would love you for who you are, and not change you to suite his mood. She was blindly in love, or so she thought, and did not listen to anyone, not even her family. She lost her personality, the things that made her special, and she became a plain slave for this stupid guy. Whatever he tells her she will do.
      I knew that he was constantly cheating on her and playing around. I told her that. But she said that those are only flings and she is the special one. (AHHHHH)i

      And of course he promised he will marry her. And she was willing to be the brainless cow he would take with him home and treat like a baby-making machine and maid. He even played with her mind and insulted me and told her to not be with me because I am “too free” … whatever the hell that means... And of course she listened.. i dont think she even stopped for a second to weigh down things.. she just talked to me like i am sort of .. well... not very nice terms. … and that day I did cry a lot... A LOT. I knew if a best friend trashes away a life long friendship… because some chauvinist idiot said so… then she has lost every bit of herself that made her who she is … and she became a total blind slave for him

      Could a Guy ever value and respect a woman who gives up all she have for him?? her mind.. her sould.. her thoughts... her family.. her life.. everything
      I didnt think any guy would find it exciting to have such a person in his life for long... and i told her that.. and of course she didnt even listen to what i said

      Years passed.. yes years. And she stayed like that. Each day she became more and more “in love” with this guy. Until one day her mother called me and asked me to come to their home. When I went, her mother cried, and told me to help my friend. She said she have locked herself in her room for days and didn’t come out and didn’t eat or drink anything. I knocked and knocked until she finally opened. And guess what has happened? That guy… GOT MARRIED!!!!!!!!i… and he simply told her sorry its family pressure, I cant marry you I have to marry this girl

      Without senses, I yelled and yelled at her… and went on with the I-told-you-so lectures … she just kept weeping and I left her

      I knew this day would come. I knew that. I am very mad at her and for every similar girl who would give-up her mind and soul and surrender to any guy

      I am mad at him as well . Why in the world would he do this to her? She has the most pure heart and she loved him, why would ANYONE hurt someone this way??s

      She is becoming better now. And I am glad that she is now A LITTLE more aware of her emotions, But she will never be the same as befoe she met this guy… she looks now like she has grown 30 years older.. physically and personality wise.. she is always blue... and even her smile seems fake.. and she still tries to avoid people as much as she can

      Deep inside me, I still wish one day I bump into this coward in a coffee shop.. and I’ll just walk up to him.. and pour a glass of liquid on his head. Preferably hot tea

      Or sometimes I wish I see his car somewhere, and I all sabotage it completely with sand and S***

      Or if i saw him with his wife someday, I’ll walk up to them and tell her everything he did to my friend…. But I doubt that would be any use… because she must be some brainless baby-making machine.. as he wanted.. so he can cheat on her as he wants and she cant say nothing

      Well, that’s what I wanted to say. Now, I want your opinion.. what is the best way I can revenge from this guy???s
      #h #h #h

      Hehehe.. just kidding #e

      Hope the gals here would never be in such a situation... please gals.. from a woman's heart to a woman's heart... treasure yourself.. and love yourself.. and never surrender any of the things you value and love for anyone.. especially not for A GUY!! ... anyone would love you for who you are... no matter what it is... and have a sense of self and personality and learn when to put your foot down firmly and stand up for your self ... and dont surrender to some freak who tells you he loves you


      :) :) :)

    • Poor guy, but he deserves it.
      I feel like that you want revenge more than anything else. I know it’s stupid to treat a girl like that or keep her attached that long and then BYE BYE LONDON…

      I feel like she deserves what happen to her as well. Sometimes Too Much Love and Trust sounds like silliness too…I have some good ways for revenge if you wish, but I won’t advice you to do so as it’s just not YOU…

      Anyway, hope she’s better now and both of you should be thankful now that things could have been worse…

      The good thing about her is that she let you in her room when she treated you so bad and didn’t respect your long relationship together


    • First of all am sorry to hear about your friend, she is probably going thru a lot of stress at the moment, she will get over it soon.

      Cruel as it may sound, there is a high price to pay when going thru pre-marital relationships. Unfortunately for girls, they are the ones who end up paying that price.

      The ways guys see it: There are girls we can
      . mess with, and girls we can marry. Your friend was a victim of the former

      Love is also compromise and sacrifice, just when you reach
      .the limit of respect for yourself, there you start realising what you have to do

      .I suggest you concentrate on getting your friend up and running instead of revenge

    • Iam so sorry for what hsppened to your friend ,and i know story for girl is similar
      but no one can do any thing bcoz girls love madly not like guy


      and this problems is happened alot in Our country and Arab country

      only i can say for u stay with your friend and encourge her now she need you more than first

      and I hope she will be in the better way

    • Iam so sorry for what hsppened to your friend ,and i know story for girl is similar [move=right][move=left]
      [move=left]but no one can do any thing bcoz girls love madly not like guy[/move]


      and this problems is happened alot in Our country and Arab country

      only i can say for u stay with your friend and encourge her now she need you more than first

      and I hope she will be in the better way[/move][/move]

    • NewWay كتب:

      Poor guy, but he deserves it.
      I feel like that you want revenge more than anything else. I know it’s stupid to treat a girl like that or keep her attached that long and then BYE BYE LONDON…

      I feel like she deserves what happen to her as well. Sometimes Too Much Love and Trust sounds like silliness too…I have some good ways for revenge if you wish, but I won’t advice you to do so as it’s just not YOU…

      Anyway, hope she’s better now and both of you should be thankful now that things could have been worse…

      The good thing about her is that she let you in her room when she treated you so bad and didn’t respect your long relationship together


      Thanks NewWay for you reply

      I know why you're saying "she deserves" what happened as well.... because i did believe that too... being too nice and too naive is exactly like being a Door mat

    • oMaNi_AsLi كتب:


      First of all am sorry to hear about your friend, she is probably going thru a lot of stress at the moment, she will get over it soon.

      Cruel as it may sound, there is a high price to pay when going thru pre-marital relationships. Unfortunately for girls, they are the ones who end up paying that price.

      The ways guys see it: There are girls we can
      . mess with, and girls we can marry. Your friend was a victim of the former

      Love is also compromise and sacrifice, just when you reach
      .the limit of respect for yourself, there you start realising what you have to do

      .I suggest you concentrate on getting your friend up and running instead of revenge



      Thanks oMaNi_AsLi

      i totally agree with what you said about the two types of girls that the Arab guys mentality have
      But why?
      why would you classify a girl who loves you more than anything as the one to "mess with"??s

      I know its useless to ask why... because sometimes human wickedness is unexplainable

      I sometimes think its good that girls go into pre-marital relationships (non physical of course) , so that they can experience the true world .. and how sometimes people are not as nice as fairy tales

      it does help alot in protecting themselves in the future.. after being hurt and humiliated

    • هداية القلوب كتب:

      Iam so sorry for what hsppened to your friend ,and i know story for girl is similar
      but no one can do any thing bcoz girls love madly not like guy


      and this problems is happened alot in Our country and Arab country

      only i can say for u stay with your friend and encourge her now she need you more than first

      and I hope she will be in the better way


      Thanks
      هداية القلوب
      for your words

      i couldnt agree with you more

      I agree with you that there maybe 100s of similar stories in our gulf society in general

      I really dont know why, I guess its the society's igonrace
      i hope the girls become more aware and careful .. and strong

      thanks again
      :)

    • We shouldn’t really generalize the story to all men again. There are some good ones too as there are some smart girls as well. By smart I mean those who believe that not everything shines is gold. I can’t really answer the question that why Gulf people have two types of mates (People means boys and girls here). Yes there are girls who play with boys too. Have anybody studied Economics here?? Do you know the supply and demand chart?/

      Think of it and try to implement it to this situation and you might come up with an answer..

      Regds
      Jamil

    • Just want u to know That The psychology of live is a very complicated process.i
      A person in love tends to exhibit behaviour that a SANE person would not do. i
      For instant, once a person be it a man or a woman, start to explore their emotion of love for he first time,, or the first
      :uccessful time. That person becomes

      1. The eye they see with: ya3ni they will see everything through that person. Her lover told her to avoid you coz you are too free, and so did she.

      2. The mind they are thinking with: He liked her to be antisocial and withdrawn. That's what she tured into.

      Don't blame her because you never know how manipulative and what type of stories and promised he used to tell her.. When he was knowing very well that he is the superman in her life.

      When a person first falls in love, that person becomes the priorites, even above siblings, parents and friends. When that beloved makes a mistake, she will tend to forgive him no matter how large it is, because her love emotions are overweighing anger. In a process to try to correct those faults, she will be afraid that she might loose him ( especially that they are not married and breakup is a cup of cake)
      So she lets him do what he want so that he will have his share of space and freedom.

      Advice from anyone one be it you, or her closest relative would make her feel that: I found that happiness and the joy of being loved, I would not allow anyone to take it away from me.. If you insist daily on advising her, her mind will process that as, she doesn't want good things to happen to me, she is jelous. Even if it was he closest sister. And yes it is a wonderful feeling to love and to be loved.

      The higher she rose in love, the more traumatic her fall. Those wounds need years to heal, until and unless she finds that serious person who is ready to compensate the pain she suffered.

      The next person is you.. she is truly lucky to have you as a friend and sister even though she didn't listen to at that stage.. You don't have to blame her anymore..

      Where ever that guy might have gone.. let it be. he is there aware and unaware about the damage he caused. Women's hearts are so fragile. and it takes a wise and sensitive man to realiza that.
      Days are punishing and not you.

      there's nothing you can do or she can do.. Hature is life shortening. Take her hand and guide her.

      Enjoy your times and try to retrive all what you have missed in that BORING period you both had.



      Discourage any talks about that past like: remember how you used to be or this or that..

      She'll get over it.

    • im reeeeeeeeally sorry 4 all of this Ms unfiathful ... i wish tha u got over it now ... well i think that u can not blam the girl for all of what happend ... yes she mistaked ... but im telling u that any guy can put any girl in this kind of relationship .. and of course the girl would be totaly in love with him... thats maybe because of the sweet words that he siad to her or 4 that promisez that he promised her ... im a girl and i know how dose that make the girl feell sooo week ... so after she descovered all oh his horible lies ... i can imaeigne how lonely and sad she feels .. and how stupid she was believeing all of that .. but now i think that she needs u the most as her bestfriend to be next to her and make her feel that evry thing iz fine..






      hhhhhhhh .. i know i act llike my grandmaah $$-e




      sorry again 4 what happend

    • oMaNi_AsLi

      Thanks for the advices


      and i would like to comment on your theory of "love" as you put to explain the behaviour


      That is totally not Love!!!!i

      the states that you explained are a mixture of low self-esteem, low confidence, and lack of warmth and love in the family'


      you are right that everybody would like to love and be loved, but the problem is when the feelings are an illusion to fill up an empty space inside us

      if we favor a stranger over our family, freinds, and people who truely love us, then there is something definately wrong

      and it is definately not love!!!!!!I

      this is slavery !!!!!i

      Thanks again for your genuine words

      :)

    • أحلى ريم كتب:

      im reeeeeeeeally sorry 4 all of this Ms unfiathful ... i wish tha u got over it now ... well i think that u can not blam the girl for all of what happend ... yes she mistaked ... but im telling u that any guy can put any girl in this kind of relationship .. and of course the girl would be totaly in love with him... thats maybe because of the sweet words that he siad to her or 4 that promisez that he promised her ... im a girl and i know how dose that make the girl feell sooo week ... so after she descovered all oh his horible lies ... i can imaeigne how lonely and sad she feels .. and how stupid she was believeing all of that .. but now i think that she needs u the most as her bestfriend to be next to her and make her feel that evry thing iz fine..

      hhhhhhhh .. i know i act llike my grandmaah $$-e

      sorry again 4 what happend


      Thanks
      أحلى ريم
      :)

      Its always good to set our prorities right, and give each priority what it deserves
      Part for our family
      Part for our freinds
      part for our self
      and part for the partner (wether a husband, a boyfreind, a fiance, etc)i

      If the last part over-takes all of the rest, then this will put us in a fragile state, because once the partner is gone (one way or another).... we are left with nothing... because we focused our energy and care to one part only


      Thanks for your advices... and no, you're not acting like a grandma.. hehe
      :) :)