Sorry

Scream · 25 أغسطس 2003، 14:30

Hi everyone
I would like to share my words with you
I hope that you will accept me and accept my pen
I am not a poet or a writer
but i am humman whose pen started to write
his own feeling

So I hope that you will comment and tell me your opinions$$7
because i am now in my path of writing

Sorry

It is hared to realize
That I was wrong all my life
Wrong about you.

I was lost in the world of dreams
Searching for dreams
Away from the evil which
Belong to kids.

I was wrong when,
I push away, when
I refuse to be you friend because
I was afraid.

I back with the memories
And I find you there
In each picture of my life
You was there, when
I cried, when I laughed
You was just there
In every moment in my life
And I was away from you.

The memorizes force me
To realize that
(you)
Are my best friend

It is just one word,
That my heart wants to tell you
And my tears wrote it deep
In my heart with sorrow and regret
Sorry
Sorry for pushing you away
From me all these years.

Whisper · 25 أغسطس 2003، 18:23

Thanks scream for sharing us
your lovely words
Well i don't have any comments
about it.

All what i could say is keep going|a

I think our teachers will come later to comment in your topic
so
you should just wait them$$e

آنسه قنبلة · 26 أغسطس 2003، 0:09

What a wonderful words sis

I really liked ur simple word bud us Whisper says am not a teacher to comment ur words

Waiting for ur other words

The Master · 26 أغسطس 2003، 23:35

كاتب الرسالة الأصلية : Scream

It is just one word,
That my heart wants to tell you
And my tears wrote it deep
In my heart with sorrow and regret
Sorry
Sorry for pushing you away
From me all these years.

Nice words dear sister! Well done. I have to say that for me, this last part was the most touching. This is a really nice poem and a good start

Now about the comments, well i dont thing am good enough to actually judge poetry nor poets!! All what i could see is just a few spelling mistakes (that you could've made during typing) and a few missing words here and there. Also, there is this thing about tenses that i am not sure about?! Mostly because my grammer isn't good enough, and Mainly because i was told that when it comes to Literature, tenses get to be treated in a special manner!! Maybe you can look into that and see what you can come up with!! I'll try to look into it myself and see if i can get back to you on it

Anyway, in general, this is a really lovely poem with some wonderful, touching words. Keep it up and keep on writing. Just don't forget to share what you write with us, My regards|e

بنـ الكويت ـت · 27 أغسطس 2003، 0:02

[TABLE='width:70%;'][CELL='filter:;']

I REALLY LIKED THE WAY YOU EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS
IT WAS SIMPLE WHEN I RED THEM I FELT THEY GET
STRAIGHT TO MY HEART
SOMETIMES WHEN YOU WRITE SOMETHINGS
EVERYTHING GOES WILD
THOSE FEELINGS ARE WONDERFUL SWEETIE
I LIKED WHAT YOU WROTE
THANK YOU

[/CELL][/TABLE]

Scream · 27 أغسطس 2003، 15:00

Thanks to all of you

I really feel happy to see
your lovely comments upon my words

and you are really encouraging me to
write more

So i hope that you will my other topics
and i will be glad to see your comments again
Many thanx to Whisper, Anisah, The master and Bint Alkuwit

I would like to share with you my post again after a help of a friend about the spelling and grammatical mistakes
and i hope if any else have any other comments i will be glad if he or she tries to improve mine

Sorry

It is hard to realize
That I was wrong all my life
Wrong about you

I was lost in the world of dreams
Searching for dreams
Away from the evil that
Belong to kids

I was wrong when
I pushed away, when
I refused to be your friend because
I was afraid

I go back with the memories
And I find you there
In each picture of my life
You were there, when
I cried, when I laughed
You were just there
In every moment of my life
And I was away from you

The memories force me
To realize that
(you)
Are my best friend

It is just one word
That my heart wants to tell you
And my tears wrote it deep
In my heart with sorrow and regret
Sorry
Sorry for pushing you away
From me all these years

Whisper · 27 أغسطس 2003، 18:50

you are welcome dear sister
and we are glad to read more of your words
just keep it up|a

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