God made man before woman so the man would have time to think of an answer for the woman's first question
Men, you may think you have a command of the English language, but when it comes to communicating with women, you may be surprised. Here is our dictionary of Womanese. Master these terms and you'll find your relationship with women greatly improved
The Real Definition of Words When Used By Women
Fine - I am right. This argument is over. You need to shut up
That's Okay - One of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think hard and long before deciding when and how you'll pay for your mistake
Nothing - The calm before the storm. This means "Something" and you better be on your toes. Note: Arguments that start with "Nothing" usually end with FINE
Five Minutes - If getting dressed, this means half an hour. (Don't be mad about this. It's the same definition for you when it's your turn to do some chores around the house.)
Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not question this or faint. Just say, "You're welcome," and let it go.
Loud Sigh - Not actually a word but rather a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. It means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is standing here wasting her time arguing with you about NOTHING
Go Ahead - This is a dare, not permission. (Don't Do It!
Don't worry about it, I got it - The second most dangerous statement a woman can make. It means that a woman has asked a man several times to do something and is now doing it herself. (This will result in you asking at a later date, "What's wrong?" For the woman's response will be NOTHING
Names
If Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara.
If John, Brad, Tony and Daniel go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla.
Money
A man will pay $10 for a $5 item he needs.
A woman will pay $5 for a $10 item that she doesn't need, because it's on sale.
Bathrooms
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Motel 6.
The average number of items in a woman's bathroom is 328. The average man would not be able to identify most of them.
Arguments
Women always have the last word in an argument. Anything a man adds after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Cats
Women love cats.
Men may say they love cats, but when women are not looking, will men kick cats.
Future
A woman worries about the future -- until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future -- until he gets a wife.
Success
A successful man is one who makes more money than can be spent by his wife.
A successful woman is one who can find that a man.
:P:P
Why Men Are Happier
Men can play with toys all their life.
Men can wear shorts no matter what their legs look like.
Men have one wallet and one pair of shoes which are good for every season.
Men can "do" their fingernails with a pocket knife.
Chocolate is just another snack.
Men's last name never changes.
Everything on a man's face stays its original color.
Men can keep the same hairstyle for years, even decades.
Men can do their shopping for 25 items in 25 minutes.
Men can go on a week's vacation and pack only one suitcase.
Men have one mood all the time.
A wedding dress cost $5000. A tuxedo rental - 100 bucks
#i#i#i#i#i.
Men, you may think you have a command of the English language, but when it comes to communicating with women, you may be surprised. Here is our dictionary of Womanese. Master these terms and you'll find your relationship with women greatly improved
The Real Definition of Words When Used By Women
Fine - I am right. This argument is over. You need to shut up
That's Okay - One of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think hard and long before deciding when and how you'll pay for your mistake
Nothing - The calm before the storm. This means "Something" and you better be on your toes. Note: Arguments that start with "Nothing" usually end with FINE
Five Minutes - If getting dressed, this means half an hour. (Don't be mad about this. It's the same definition for you when it's your turn to do some chores around the house.)
Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not question this or faint. Just say, "You're welcome," and let it go.
Loud Sigh - Not actually a word but rather a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. It means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is standing here wasting her time arguing with you about NOTHING
Go Ahead - This is a dare, not permission. (Don't Do It!
Don't worry about it, I got it - The second most dangerous statement a woman can make. It means that a woman has asked a man several times to do something and is now doing it herself. (This will result in you asking at a later date, "What's wrong?" For the woman's response will be NOTHING
Names
If Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Mary, Susan, Claire and Barbara.
If John, Brad, Tony and Daniel go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla.
Money
A man will pay $10 for a $5 item he needs.
A woman will pay $5 for a $10 item that she doesn't need, because it's on sale.
Bathrooms
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Motel 6.
The average number of items in a woman's bathroom is 328. The average man would not be able to identify most of them.
Arguments
Women always have the last word in an argument. Anything a man adds after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Cats
Women love cats.
Men may say they love cats, but when women are not looking, will men kick cats.
Future
A woman worries about the future -- until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future -- until he gets a wife.
Success
A successful man is one who makes more money than can be spent by his wife.
A successful woman is one who can find that a man.
:P:P
Why Men Are Happier
Men can play with toys all their life.
Men can wear shorts no matter what their legs look like.
Men have one wallet and one pair of shoes which are good for every season.
Men can "do" their fingernails with a pocket knife.
Chocolate is just another snack.
Men's last name never changes.
Everything on a man's face stays its original color.
Men can keep the same hairstyle for years, even decades.
Men can do their shopping for 25 items in 25 minutes.
Men can go on a week's vacation and pack only one suitcase.
Men have one mood all the time.
A wedding dress cost $5000. A tuxedo rental - 100 bucks
#i#i#i#i#i.
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