hasty judgment!!!

    • hasty judgment!!!

      S
      ome time you want to do something good I mean charity as an example, but people misunderstand you. They think you want to insult him or her but meanly you don’t mean that.


      1- So why do you think people misunderstand the good work?
      2- Why do people sometimes rush to hasty judgment without waiting to the end?

      Is it because they don’t care that much!!
      Is it because they don’t know you that much so they rush?

      Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold — but so does a hard-boiled egg.

      3- Small mistake may ruin everything. But why do people always stop when they reach to the small mistake and forget the charity that has been given by the mistake- maker?

      4- do all people make mistake intentionally?


      "I love you."
      It is a romantic sentence, isn't it?


      This small sentence may consider as a big mistake?
      Why do a lady consider it as a big dilemma? Some ladies rush to hasty judgment when they receive this word, why?

      5- I think it is not good thing to say,” I love you” to a lady unless you engage her but since we are human?
      We make mistake sometimes and our desire forces as to say I love you to somebody who may get astonished and rush to a hasty judgment because of that


      Wt are the disadvantages of hasty judgment?

    • Interesting topic Baroon
      and nice to see you back with something new|a

      Hasty judgment is a phrase that we may most of us have passed through it ..
      or we may say that we were wrong once a time in our hasty judgments>>that may be related to anger or pride actions that we may take hasty judgments without realizing that we drove our actions to negative attitude

      well i guess i will come later to add the rest of my opinion

      because it seems that my mind is stuck now

      so i will return with someting later

      see u all

    • I really like ur topic brother
      Especially when this hasty judgment from someone u trust and respect
      Of course because of miss understanding
      Any way it may happen every day
      But brother i think that u mean other thing by sharing us this topic
      Especially when u say "I love you" and ask if it a romantic sentence or not
      Well it depends it's not romantic if u say it to ur friend, father, brother, mother or sister
      But if u say it to a lady who u don’t really know her i think that u really losing ur mind
      Brother we r not in prophet Mohamed age when people think in an innocent way life is change now
      And the world become like a wild animal and we have to be more careful about any single word come from us
      So if u really say to a lady who u don't know 'I love u' don't be surprise if she slap u
      And plz don't talk about desire coz we can avoid what our desire force us to do by walking in the same path that prophet Mohamed take it and all the Companions of the Prophet take it too

      My Regards
      Miss Bomb

    • Thanx a lot for ur participation, I am really pleased when I read ur opinion and also will be more glad after reading ur next opinion

      And also for other active members like…. No need to mention their names coz they know themselves so I’m waiting all the active helper



      Thanx ms Bob and wishper


      but Ms bob
      Thanx a lot for ur participation, I am really pleased when I read ur opinion and also will be more glad after reading ur next opinion

      And also for other active members like…. No need to mention their names coz they know themselves so I’m waiting all the active helper

      Thanx ms Bob and wishper

      Why should she give a slap ?!! if that person wants to know her opinion before going to egagae her coz she might be engaged . so should she rush to slap him??

      I want to talk in general not only about the “ a lady” can be about friend , father, mother and the manager

    • Sorry for being late
      and sorry for my clue reply
      maybe because i was in hurry
      so i couldn't express what i want directly..
      So i would like to apologize to all of you


      i will go through your points one by one
      so that may make it easy to be discussd


      So why do you think people misunderstand the good work?

      Sometimes you intend to do a good action for some people and your intend is good but these people may feel opposit and that might be because they are lower than you in their classes in the society,,or their position or according to their financial situation and this related to their pride and prejudice..that they consider these charities as feeling pity towards them..

      so that what i have now for the first one

    • Why do people sometimes rush to hasty judgment without waiting to the end?

      Sometimes we may rush to hast judgement because we are not in our normal situation..In other words, we may feel not OK at that moment or something upset us that let us rush in our judgments>>
      But, sometimes we rush in our judgments because we wants to have the result of what we believed strongly about it ..and we don't want to to be something else from what we think

      For examples, sometimes we may judge wrongly about people we see them for the first time by saying "I don't like that person" i don't feel comfortable to see him or her", so that make us rush in our judgment without dealing at all with that person$$7
      and i have to admit that i did this many times in my life$$6

    • [B]Small mistake may ruin everything. But why do people always stop when they reach to the small mistake and forget the charity that has been given by the mistake- maker?


      These lines are the most effective and sad |y
      Because many friends and families argue and seperated because of a silly mistake that ruin everything between them along the years in one moment by a just trifal mistake

      And i saw many people seperated because of these small mistakes

      i really wonder why they let wrong go over the right|y
      how sad it is ourlives when we find people react in such away

      I will stop now
      hope to come later
      with something new to add

      and you don't have to agree with what i said
      and i will be more glad to hear the opinion of the rest

      So i am going to stick this topic
      in order to give the others a chance to reply in

      See u later
      [/B]

    • كاتب الرسالة الأصلية : البارون
      brother whisper,

      really i don't know what to say
      i read ur words several times and i will read them again and again ur words show that u are sophasticated person so i'm really glad to get the answer from such a friend like you
      thanx


      Am i sophisticated person?$$7

      How is that:sad
      what did I say

      It seems so$$7

      i am sot sure that i am able to add anything now

      i will try to not be so complicated and my next opinions
      Regards
      your sister
      Whisper

    • All Mixed UP

      Dear All,
      NO Baroon, you did it once, and you did it twice.
      Sophisticated, as one would understand it, was not the right word to used to describe Whisper, I mean it was used in the wrong position.
      We know sophisticated could mean intellegent and "big head" but I guess it was never meant then.
      Anyway, your subject is a mix, with no under estimation that is for sure, but you chose to go for the sentence "I Love You" as the core of the topic and charity & good intentions!

      Whu should we say I love you, and expect a slap? why doing it in the first place, after all and like Qonbola said, we live in in an eastern & muslim society!!!!!

      Even in the most open societies you never hear this sentence! and no wonder if i would receive a slap or a bad and cruel hint then!

      I would guess a phrase like "nice face", "you are nice" or something like that to express admiration and even that would not be acceptable in our society.

      I know I have added more confusion and mixup to the subject simply because the subject is a mix up and takes more that one wishes at a place like this.

      I would ask the moderators here to ask all those who take part here to make things clear, concise, and simple if you like...

      Sorry again and let us just get to the point with no more explanations.

      Jealousy and envy are two reasons why others would not appreciates others....

      I did not know how I started and I do not know how to finish! SO it is better for me ti shut up.


      10-derness

    • Brother Tenderness

      I don't really think that the topic is mixed up

      Coz he presented us different points of misunderstanding that he wants us to discuss it , so what do u mean by mixed up?? I mean can u tell us where is it!!

      Any way dear brother I'm strongly with u about the other ways that we should express our feeling to the person we love.

      Glad to see ur wonderful replying
      And hope to keep in touch always.

      My Regards

    • i'm really sorry if my topic is going to make problems

      but here is a small story i would like you to read it to get ideas




      In a small village in Africa. There was a man who made his living by hunting dears. His wife, on going out to bring some water to the house, asked him to remain in the hut till she returned and took care of their baby during her absence. While the wife was still absence, a friend of the hunter came and told him that there was a herd of deer nearby. The desire of hunting some deer was too strong, so he went with his friend. He left the baby in charge of a mongoose ( a hurry animal), which he had brought up from its birth. On his return to the hut, the mongoose stained with blood went out to meet him. The hunter felt certain that the mongoose had killed his baby, and in a moment of anger took up a stone and crushed it to death. But when he had gone inside the hut, he found his baby sleeping soundly as he had left him and by the side of him a dead snake, which the mongoose had killed to save the baby.
      The hunter blamed himself strongly for having acted without thinking. There was indeed no excuse to be made for him because snakes often crawl into the villager huts and mongoose is the almost the only animal that know how to kill them.

    • . How do you deal with this anger

      First you have to remember “Alah” by saying استغفر الله"
      Second, you must make a choice to control anger.
      Have you ever been arguing with someone at home and the phone rings? What did you do? Didn't you choose to control your anger simply by making a choice to answer the phone and speak calmly to the caller?
      2- change you position. Try to breath deeply and set down.
      3- Choose to deal with the small issues before they build into resentment.
      4- Choose to control and restrain your words.
      5- Choose to control and restrain your thoughts. When you allow angry and resentful thoughts and accusations to rule and control your mind, you will continue to boil inside. You need the peace of God to rule your heart and mind which enables you to think clearly
      6- Choose to control and restrain your actions Don't grab, push, or have any physical contact with a person you are angry with or that you know is angry with you. If you try to force someone physically to do what you want, this will only increase their anger and resistance
      Hints for Controlling Angry Outbursts (in general)
      1- Face It, You May Be a Little Hotheaded (or Even A Lot Hot-Headed): But your personal tendencies are no excuse if you have the mental capacity to learn to control your angry outbursts. Instead of blaming other people for your problems, get busy learning how to re-channel your energies into more productive avenues. When we don’t possess the courage and the wisdom to walk away from arguments, we may erupt into a tirade of verbal vitriol or physical violence. When we do so, we very often reap disastrous consequences for ourselves and for our loved ones.
      2- Beware: Outbursts are Habit-forming: If you find that your anger gets’ you into trouble again and again, then it’s time to reevaluate the way that you think and the way that you respond to anger-provoking situations.
      3-Don’t Exaggerate: Oftentimes, you anger results from the exaggerated way that you think about the experiences and the people in your life. Learn to think rationally, not emotionally. And never exaggerate the size of your problems or the wickedness of your adversaries. * In minor issues you should pass over the transgression. Many times people have no intention of purposely offending you. If we don’t carefully monitor our thoughts, we allow the little frustrations of the day to build up. When we do, one final small frustration may cause an emotional eruption that results in a highly unfortunate outburst.* But, if it is clear someone intended to offend you, or if you know that someone is angry with you, you must go to them alone and reconcile.
      4-Address the Behavior: If you feel that you are being treated unfairly, don’t hesitate to speak up on your own behalf in a way that is appropriate, forceful, and timely.
      5- If You Feel That You Are About to Do Something Foolish, Walk Away: Too many good people are forced to live for the rest of their lives with the consequences of impulsive behaviors. Don’t be one of them.
      6-If You Can’t Walk Away, Take Lot’s of Deep

    • . How do you deal with this anger

      First you have to remember “Alah” by saying استغفر الله"
      Second, you must make a choice to control anger.
      Have you ever been arguing with someone at home and the phone rings? What did you do? Didn't you choose to control your anger simply by making a choice to answer the phone and speak calmly to the caller?
      2- change you position. Try to breath deeply and set down.
      3- Choose to deal with the small issues before they build into resentment.
      4- Choose to control and restrain your words.
      5- Choose to control and restrain your thoughts. When you allow angry and resentful thoughts and accusations to rule and control your mind, you will continue to boil inside. You need the peace of God to rule your heart and mind which enables you to think clearly
      6- Choose to control and restrain your actions Don't grab, push, or have any physical contact with a person you are angry with or that you know is angry with you. If you try to force someone physically to do what you want, this will only increase their anger and resistance
      Hints for Controlling Angry Outbursts (in general)
      1- Face It, You May Be a Little Hotheaded (or Even A Lot Hot-Headed): But your personal tendencies are no excuse if you have the mental capacity to learn to control your angry outbursts. Instead of blaming other people for your problems, get busy learning how to re-channel your energies into more productive avenues. When we don’t possess the courage and the wisdom to walk away from arguments, we may erupt into a tirade of verbal vitriol or physical violence. When we do so, we very often reap disastrous consequences for ourselves and for our loved ones.
      2- Beware: Outbursts are Habit-forming: If you find that your anger gets’ you into trouble again and again, then it’s time to reevaluate the way that you think and the way that you respond to anger-provoking situations.
      3-Don’t Exaggerate: Oftentimes, you anger results from the exaggerated way that you think about the experiences and the people in your life. Learn to think rationally, not emotionally. And never exaggerate the size of your problems or the wickedness of your adversaries. * In minor issues you should pass over the transgression. Many times people have no intention of purposely offending you. If we don’t carefully monitor our thoughts, we allow the little frustrations of the day to build up. When we do, one final small frustration may cause an emotional eruption that results in a highly unfortunate outburst.* But, if it is clear someone intended to offend you, or if you know that someone is angry with you, you must go to them alone and reconcile.
      4-Address the Behavior: If you feel that you are being treated unfairly, don’t hesitate to speak up on your own behalf in a way that is appropriate, forceful, and timely.
      5- If You Feel That You Are About to Do Something Foolish, Walk Away: Too many good people are forced to live for the rest of their lives with the consequences of impulsive behaviors. Don’t be one of them.
      6-If You Can’t Walk Away, Take Lot’s of Deep Breaths and Calm Yourself Down with Rational Thoughts: If you’re in a situation where you physically can’t escape from an anger-provoking situation, don’t escalate the problem; mitigate the problem with rational thoughts, a lowered voice, non-threatening body language, and deep breaths.
      7-If Your Environment or Your Relationships Are Anger-provoking, Do What You Can to Change Things: Do you find yourself in a place where you constantly feel provoked? Perhaps it’s time to look for a new place.
      8-Angry Words and Explosive Behaviors Can’t Be Erased: Unfortunately, prisons are filled hundreds of thousands of good people who wish that they could go back in time and erase their own impulsive behaviors. They can’t. Hasty words and deeds may have tragic consequences that can’t be erased.
      9-Ironically, Many of the Things We’re Angry About Aren’t Even Real: We human beings have a wonderful capacity to exaggerate our problems and to blame others for the problems we imagine. Also, we are extremely quick to assign motives to other people’s behaviors, and usually we are incorrect in our evaluation of other people’s motives.
      10-Anger is Contagious: If you’re associating with angry people, you’ll soon become an angry person too. If your friends are angry young men or women, find new friends, and start finding them today.
      11-Same Old Thoughts? Try Thinking Some New Ones If you find yourself thinking the same old angry thoughts over and over, make the conscious effort to interrupt those old thoughts with more productive new thoughts. And while you’re at it, why not make some specific plans for fixing the things that are bothering you
      12-Don’t Get Angry, Get Busy: Is there something that’s bothering you? Don’t waste energy by worrying, waiting, wondering, wishing, or whining. Instead, get busy solving the problem. Since very few problems are self-solving, it’s up to you to solve the ones you want solved (and not to fret too much about the ones you’re unwilling to solve.
      In conclusion, Inappropriate Anger: Because we have not been properly trained in ways to make our anger productive, and because we are fallible human beings who don’t always think clearly and behave appropriately, our anger may become misdirected, inappropriate, and highly counterproductive



      if there is other iformation please let me know

    • BAROON
      I have gone through yours issue several times and I agree with you 100% and really it is not mixed or under estimation. Again thanx for your topic and keep it up. Don’t let other put you down in the dumps. However as tenderness said sophisticated has several meaning so when you describe someone you should say why. So it'll be understands
      TENDERNESS
      Oh that’s so tough and I believe it was a hard day to you when u replied to BAROON. BAROON wrote about hasty judgment and he enforced his issue with example that when boys say I love you to girls. And as you mentioned it’s unacceptable in our sociality. Even though he mentions it as example. I copied from you topic that (Even in the most open societies you never hear this sentence) which is absolutely not spot on. Unless the one who says that words he plays around. Nonetheless the one who means the words and he really love that person he has to tell her/him. Just take it easy
      WHISPER
      I’ve to admit that you so cool in your reply and really you so active member. Take care
      At the end all of us here to exchange the ideas & solve the problem. So long