Sardar Jee


    • A Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road....why ?
      Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office
      ------------------------------------------------------

      2 sardars talking during diwali
      1st: Jab phatake phut te hai to Pahle light dhekhai deti hai phir awaz, aisa kyon ?
      2nd: Kyonki hamari aankh aage hai aur kaan piche
      ------------------------------------------------------
      A woman had 8 sons all named Kevin. On asking how she managed to call one in particular
      She replied: That's easy. I call them by their surname !
      ------------------------------------------------------
      koi apni biwi ka ! antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha ki achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi
      aadmi bola: Lagta hai pohanch gayee
      ------------------------------------------------------
      Man: How was your exam today ?
      Sardar: Fine, except for one question which was difficult
      Man: Which one ?
      Sardar: What is the past tense of THINK ?
      I thought...i thought ...i thought about it and wrote THUNK
      ------------------------------------------------------
      How do you fit 20 marwadis in a Maruti 800 ?
      Throw a 100 rupee note inside
      ------------------------------------------------------
      Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugar box. Sees inside and closes it.
      Wife observes the whole episode
      Again he comes and does the same stuff.
      Wife asks : Why are you doing this?
      Sardar replies: Doc told to check sugar level regularly
      Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and says "Hi, Main Bol Raha
      Hoon". The other sardar replies "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"


      -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      A Sardar had called an Englishman for lunch. There was curd on the table.
      The guest asked what is this?
      The Sardar didn't know English, he said "Milk sleeping in night, morning
      becomes tight"

      -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      A sardar was drawing money from ATM. The sardar behind him in the line
      said,
      "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks(****).
      The first sardar replies, " Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong. Its 1258."


      -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar?
      Driver: Which part?
      Santa Singh: All of me, of course!

      -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      Banta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway station ticket counter
      with two men ahead of him.
      Ek Punjab Mail dena.' demanded the man in front. He was given a
      ticket.
      'Ek Punjab Mail dena.' the second man asked and was handed a ticket.
      Then came the turn of Banta Singh, 'Ek Punjab female dena!' 'What do u mean
      by Punjab female?' asked the clerk.
      'It is for my wife' replied Banta Singh.

      -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      Sardar Wins Lottery
      A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Delhi to claim it
      and the man verifies his ticket number. The Sardar says, "I want my 20
      lakhs. The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you one
      lakh today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 weeks. "
      The Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I
      want
      it." Again, the man explained that he would only get a lakh that day and
      the
      rest during the next 19 weeks. The Sardar, furious with the man, screams
      out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my 20 lakhs
      right now, then I want my five rupees back!"

      Srdr: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.

      Frnd: Y?

      Srdr: Got upper berth.

      Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?

      Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower
      berth..



      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

      Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody
      will b
      there............. Girl goes at night & realy nobody
      was there

      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

      THE BEST --

      A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
      Every 10 sec a woman
      gives birth to a kid.

      A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


      Sardar-why r all these people running?

      Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.

      Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r
      others running?

      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++




      Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
      into future tense.

      Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
      ++
      +++


      Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs
      tree, sits on the
      branch
      regularly. A man asks why he does this. Srdr:"I've
      been promoted as
      branch
      manager."

      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
      ++
      +++++


      Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He
      was not sure as
      to
      what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".

      After much thought he wrote : Yes!

      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
      ++
      +++++++++



      One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his
      college.

      U knw Why?

      Because he wanted to check where the question paper is
      leaking...


      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
      ++
      +++++++++++


      Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
      Servant: It"s
      already
      raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
      ++
      ++++++++++


      Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question
      ever -

      What will come first, Chicken or egg?

      O Yaar, what ever n order first will come first.


      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
      ++
      +++++++++++++++++++++


      Sardar wins 20 cars from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer
      gave 11 cr after
      deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or
      else return my 20
      Rs
      back.!

      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
      ++
      +++++++++++++++++


      Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This
      Packet

      Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could
      have posted
      it....

      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
      ++
      ++++++++++++++++++




      A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
      Judge asked: How'll
      U
      divide, U"VE 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll
      apply NEXT YEAR

      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
      ++
      ++++++++++


      Sardar was writing something very slowly.

      Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?

      Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read
      very fast.

      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
      ++
      ++++++++++


      Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in
      punjab . Local
      sardars
      have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for
      more..


      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
      ++
      +++++++++


      A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking
      at evening not in
      the
      morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM
      not AM''.


      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
      ++
      +++++++++++


      Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.

      Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.

      Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.

      It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"