What if ur daughter....

    • What if ur daughter....

      What will you do if you saw your daughter sitting in a car with her boyfriend???

      Anyways they said that they would force her to marry her boyfriend...

      it really pissed me off to be honest..i just want to see what you all think of this issue.

      waitin for responses

    • Thank you oMaNi_AsLi
      I am sorry but your original topic or answer rather, and your reply or the reply given by that "someone" rather are beyond my imagination

      To talk about a daughter, a car, and above all a boyfriend. I guess we should first ask ourselves this question, Would we accept it to happen in the first place? Sorry again but I am disgusted with the question to be honest with you, with all respect to you for sure


      Well, I shall act pretending I have open mind and have to live with what comes up
      I would thank my daughter and just ask her to go to hell and marry him or just forget about him and start her life all over again trying to conserve her self and her family in our Arab, Moslem and eastern society

      I would and may realize then again, to realize that I myself have failed in bringing my daughter up

      Once again and if you think we are to ask this q or face it in our siciety considering it not as an odd case then I am sorry it kooks Iam still living in the old ages and deserve my daughter to sit in a car, new car, with a boyfriend, new boyfriend, every day

    • Thanks Omani asli for this topic. Its actually one of the current affaires we having in all muslim countries including Oman.

      First we must understand that Islam brought regulations that MUST be followed. So, originally, mixing between girls and boys is 7ram and it came prohibited because of real and serious reasons such as ending in fa7ishah.

      If we are talking about your topic, and lets say one of us is a father and saw his daughter with a guy and alone in a car, would you think we will accept this as muslims???

      Diffenetly, NO. If each father allowed his daughter to this, we will end up as westerners and ofcaurse we are throwing away Islam regulations.

      Islam prhibited this mixing because no way a guy and a girl sit alone in " romantic" moments with out AT LEAST intending to commit the fa7ishah.

      We all accept LOVE as something real and no way we say it does not exist, but real love in our Islamic world is performed in real Islamic way. This means we MUST NOT date our lovers just for the sake to know each other more. It is completely wrong and quraan and sunnah said so.

      So we cannot in any way say if we do not allow such thing we are block minded and backwarded. We are never such as long as we are performing islam reguations.

      That was kind of introduction to my simple answer which is, i would rather not allow my daughter to do such thing and this is by making her to grow up in real educated and islamic life.

      I maight forgive her for the first time she does such a thing, and adjacent to this, and am ofcourse not allowing her to marry the guy she dated. i will not panish her but rather i will try to make her understand that what she has done was completely wrong and making her live like a real " diamond" that i will always protect and lead her to the right path.

      Thanks all for your nice topics and contributions. :)




    • First, thanks Omani 3sli for your topic

      If ever comes that I were put in this position, I would rather disgracefully die than to see my daughter whom I brought up to be the “best” among her companions of “good” girls in this shameful situation.

      I would, in the first place, punish myself because if I brought her well, she would never act in this way.

      However, if we take this from another corner, I’m not shocked as I’m terribly sad of what we’ve turned into…..we’ve come to discussing matters that we once thought we strongly believe in and will never change our minds towards
      $

      Can never determine if people who share me this view are the wrong people in the right place or right people in the wrong place. Things we believe in as “right” turned to be “odd” in other’s eyes
      $$g

      Double-thinking within one unity with similar ideological and cultural background. In that case, I think the word “society” will not fit in here then$$t $$g .new terminologies shall take place
      so think hard then to invent new ones #i #i don't forget that we have to come to a
      conclusion that shall meet all minds
      #i |a

    • Lavender كتب:



      If ever comes that I were put in this position, I would rather disgracefully die than to see my daughter whom I brought up to be the “best” among her companions of “good” girls in this shameful situation.

      I would, in the first place, punish myself because if I brought her well, she would never act in this way.




      But, Lavendar, dont you think you're exaggerating a little bit??s

      If you had a daughter, it not only you who would be raising her

      School... friends... neighbourhood.. media... etc

      I guess this is what sometimes parents pass-over. There are so MANY other factors that may effect the behaviour of a teenager / an adolescent... in an age where the difference between what is right and wrong is not really clear. And many times we see great people bloom from very disfunctional families

      So, if you were the father who saw his daughter with a guy, take it easy... and try to understand what made her do it... and what exactly is she looking for in disobeying her family in anyway

      Dont you think that this may help more in solving the issue, than having your daughter live the rest of her life without a father? a father who chose to "disgracefully die" than to guide her to the right path as his role obligates him??s

      :) :)

    • Mrs.Unfaithful كتب:




      But, Lavendar, dont you think you're exaggerating a little bit??s

      If you had a daughter, it not only you who would be raising her

      School... friends... neighbourhood.. media... etc

      I guess this is what sometimes parents pass-over. There are so MANY other factors that may effect the behaviour of a teenager / an adolescent... in an age where the difference between what is right and wrong is not really clear. And many times we see great people bloom from very disfunctional families

      So, if you were the father who saw his daughter with a guy, take it easy... and try to understand what made her do it... and what exactly is she looking for in disobeying her family in anyway

      Dont you think that this may help more in solving the issue, than having your daughter live the rest of her life without a father? a father who chose to "disgracefully die" than to guide her to the right path as his role obligates him??s

      :) :)



      Back to you Mrs. Unfaithful

      That is what I really wish if ever came across this situation and wish never. You may perceive it dear as a one-moment emotional thought that been acted straightaway upon its rejection of this whole idea

      I understand what you are aiming to and I believe it is good to talk as a friend to your daughter, try to make sense of things for yourself, in the first place, see sensibly how to deal with this situation and then work all the matter out and try to advice your daughter if you perceive what she did as “wrong”. However, this shall be from childhood. Never wait till it is too late to do the same

      بالعامية نقول ما ينفع الباس لما الفاس اطيح بالراس

      if i fail in the beginning when her mind is open to me, i won't acheive any success later on as she is influenced by so many things that make more sense to her more than her mother's words


      I’ll just tell you one single circumstace that I’ve once lived in abroad and deeply thought about. I’ve seen how life is abroad (western life) as well as I’ve met with both, if I can say, “free & conservative” girls/ladies from some Arab countries including gulf ones. I might accompany some of them but not others. I might even refuse to mix with some

      What will make you react as this, dear

      All of us came up from similar religious and cultural backgrounds, if not the same. All of us have been admitted to a completely different new life away from family and home. All of us have to mingle and interact with this new society. We are all, in some way or another, aware of this

      However, some will change appearance because they don’t want to be looked at differently (a compromise). Some will prefer changing appearance because they feel ashamed of wearing what they were obligated to in their countries and some will go for it in a way that this is what they ever wished and it was their chance to do whatever they wanted and couldn’t in our society (they view it as a free world that they have been deprived of in their culture). There are different points of view dear towards this single matter

      On the other hand, you see the contrary. Girls (teenagers)/ladies are morally obligated to the principles they hold. Never ever change

      $$g

      What makes them all react differently? ~!@q Some can go with each others though there is a slight dissimilarity in their views and some cannot; for there is no point that can join them together or make any kind of successful interaction. Why is this, too
      ~!@q

      Moral obligation, mainly, is one factor that causes this, source of which is the way of upbringing. I mean the strong believes that you bring your child up to from childhood, which make this child confident and never waver or hesitate in abiding by when they grow up. So, if these principles are planted well in their minds with seeing you applying them, they will be able to differentiate between how things are really going and between how they ought to go


      :)

    • another n**** from the most person on our planet mr.omani_asli..where are you living and what do you know about people's privacy..tell us what do you think if you see your daughter with a stranger..


      I mentioned I was disgusted by the q but I have never said I was so with dear omani asli, afterall I partcipated and answered the q
      A q is a q

      Please dear seebawi

    • another nonsense from the most boring person on our planet mr.omani_asli..where are you


      Do i know u ?and what do u mean by boring person?s

      seebawi كتب:


      living and what do you know about people's privacy..tell us what do you think if you see your daughter with a stranger..



      first of all Thank u 4 giving ur opinion
      i m very srry if my qs hurts u ?s
      i know ,i was not supposed to ask like this qs
      BUT
      belive me after reading Tenderness reply
      ,i feel empressed and i was hope if i didnt post this topic

      if someone asked me same qs i ll do like u....hahaha

    • oMaNi_AsLi كتب:

      Do i know u ?and what do u mean by boring person?s




      first of all Thank u 4 giving ur opinion
      i m very srry if my qs hurts u ?s
      i know ,i was not supposed to ask like this qs
      BUT
      belive me after reading Tenderness reply
      ,i feel empressed and i was hope if i didnt post this topic

      if someone asked me same qs i ll do like u....hahaha




      never mind bro. this happens sometimes when u don't know how others think like or particularly when u want to see if people's minds have changed in this dramaticly changing world or not...thank you for bringing it up anyway

      :)

    • Lavender كتب:


      never mind bro. this happens sometimes when u don't know how others think like or particularly when u want to see if people's minds have changed in this dramaticly changing world or not...thank you for bringing it up anyway

      :)


      Thank you Lavender
      We cannot talk about positive things by overlooking negative ones


    • I love this topic, but unfortunately I didn't get the time to read the follow-ups. Since the event happened, I guess I would bring them forward to explain why the had to hide it. I believe that if someone wants something, he doesn't have to keep it secret. At the same time, I understand that there are cases where we should keep things secret until the right time comes.

      Before that, who are we talking about here? Is it a teenager, young girl and boy in their 20s or a mature woman? Is she single or married or divorced or a widow? I assume they are teenagers and/or 20-something adults. It is a very sensitive age where such people would need intimacy, love, care and attention, not the one they get from their parents. It is normal and we cannot deny it, it is then our conscience that tell us if we should even think about it or not. Parents come as first to be questioned on how they brought up their kids. Some kids are stubborn and no matter how hard parents try to raise up their kids, they won't change the fact that they will do whatever they wanna do.

      If I was the father, I would first explain that my principle in dealing with girls in particular is not by beating her up. I wouldn't embarrass her in front of people and would ask her to get off quitely or just wait for her at home. If I caught them red-handed then it is my duty that I explain to them their critical situation they placed themselves in then I will take the girl and punish her so that she learns. Feeling bad, and getting angry will not have any impact because who knows she may do it again. So my reaction should be so precised and clear that she never forgets it. It is at such moments, the kids realize what they have done, let them feel guilty and trust me, they do!!

      Let see whats happening with the boy here, hmmmm too young to impress a girl!! I would laugh at such things because they are just kids and their mentality is not that mature to think the way we think. We've got to help them learn. The problem may become so serious if it was more than just going out and sitting in a car!! The parents of the boy should know and both families should discuss the matter to end up with some kind of a good punishment for both of them. I would differentiate the boy from the girl that much. But if the boy is too old, let's say in his 20s. Then I would talk to him as a man to a man. Let me not forget that we do need here as fathers to learn how to control our temper.

      Thats all for now folks!!

      Cheers

    • oMaNi_AsLi كتب:

      Do i know u ?and what do u mean by boring person?s




      first of all Thank u 4 giving ur opinion
      i m very srry if my qs hurts u ?s
      i know ,i was not supposed to ask like this qs
      BUT
      belive me after reading Tenderness reply
      ,i feel empressed and i was hope if i didnt post this topic

      if someone asked me same qs i ll do like u....hahaha



      no problem i hope you dont misunderstand but dont open a post and run away..dont be weak ..be stronge and face your reality another thing is that you haven't answered my question: what would you do if you see a stranger with your daughter or any closely related female..