>>A--"Hello, Master Carlos? This is Arnaldo your country House
Caretaker"
C--"Ah yes, Mr. Arnaldo. What can I do for you? Is there a
problem?"
A--"Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot
died"
C--"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the competition?"
A--"That's the one".
C--"Darn! That's such a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird.
Oh well...what did he die from?"
A--"From eating rotten meat."
C--"Rotten meat? Who was so mean as to give him meat?"
A--"Nobody. He ate the meat of one of the dead horses."
C--"Dead horse? What dead horse Mr. Arnaldo?"
A--"Why, those pure breed ones that you had, sir. They died from
all that work pulling the water cart."
C--"Are you insane? What water cart?"
A--"The one we used to put out the fire."
C--"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
A--"The one at your house! A candle fell and then the curtain
caught on fire."
C--"What the...!!! But theres electricity at the house!!!! What
was the candle
for???"
A--"For the funeral."
C--"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL???!!!!!"
A--"Your mother's! She showed up one night out of the blue! And I
>>thought she was a thief, so I shot her."

passs the bad news

by installments

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail your friend who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have cell phones.
6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "0" or "9" to get an outside line.
8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.
11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
12. Contractors out number permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
13. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
14. As you read this list, you think about telling your "friends".
15. You are too busy to notice there was no No. 9
16. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a No.9
17. AND NOW U R LAUGHING AT YOUR STUPIDNESS..